Apples'n'Oranges is having a Canada Day contest with some awesome prizes. I personally want to win all the little girl stuff so I can further curse my chances at having a girl next (last) time around.
All you have to do is write a post (or email them at info@apples-n-oranges.com if you don't have a blog) explaining why you buy Canadian.
Here's my reason:
The shipping's usually cheaper.
I KNOW! Awesome reason. I'm so patriotic and supportive of our local economy, etc, etc. But seriously, I know there are good reasons to buy Canadian, I just don't exactly have the time to go online to research them. They are there though, so you should all buy Canadian, particularly from Apples'n'Oranges because Lara just quit her job to run the company full time and she won't be able to feed my nephew if you don't. Do it. And enter the contest while you're at it.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
No, I'm Still Not Sleeping.
So much has happened in the saga of sleep since the last time I blogged about Tristan, yet I'm pretty much at the same place I was then, and possibly even more sleep deprived. That being said, it's 10:37 PM and I'm choosing to blog rather than go to bed so YOU HAVEN'T BROKEN ME YET, SLEEPLESS CHILD. Ahem.
I decided to go with the Baby Whisperer once again, but instead of doing the "pick-up/put-down" technique, it was more of a "put-down" because he was at the age where picking him up constantly would distract more than comfort. He got his bedtime feed, then he was cut off from feeding for at least 8 hours. This is where I deviated from the Baby Whisperer because, according to her, at his age he should be able to go 12 hours without a feed. On the first night his growling stomach after 8 hours told me otherwise. Although it was necessary to feed him in the middle of the nights, usually at about 3 AM, I think this is what ended up keeping the plan from being totally effective. He would settle with just being put down when he stood up in anywhere from 8 minutes to two hours, and was sleeping longer stretches overall. He even managed a couple of 7 hour stretches, although they were at the beginning of the night so I didn't get the same 7 hours of sleep unfortunately. The problem ended up being that after I gave him his feed in the middle of the night he would start getting up every hour to eat and/or be very wakeful. A couple of weeks ago a combination of things began to throw us off track even more. First of all, my exhausted body began tricking my mind in the middle of the night into believing that he should most definitely be coming into our bed to be fed at midnight. I distinctly remember feeling that this was a rational act, despite Russ asking me what the hell I thought I was doing. Then teething hit. His four upper front teeth have been sloooooowly and evidently very painfully making their way down for a couple of weeks and he's totally miserable about it. This combined with the crazy heat wave of last week (and therefore his increased thirst and my decreased desire to have a sweaty screaming child hanging off me) had me feeding him every time he woke up crying. And that brings us to now. His teeth still aren't totally out and he's cranky about it off and on. He's gotten used to being fed every time he wakes up, so now he's sleeping about a 3 hour stretch at the beginning of the night, then waking about every hour and a half or two hours thereafter. I usually bring him into our bed after the fourth or so waking. My overall attitude has been ok about it, but I've definitely been super grouchy during the day when I got woken up a lot the previous night or when the boys all decided that 5 AM is a good time to wake up (oh my children, you just wait until you're sleepy teenagers and I decide that 5 AM is a good time for you to wake up).
And now the new plan! (Because I'm so good at being consistent with this sleep training thing) Next week we're going down to Niagara Falls and Marineland for 3 days, so there's no point in starting anything before then. I'll just have to suffer through the next 7 days and make Russ get up with them in the morning so I can sleep in. Right. Once we're settled back at home I'm going to do the regular bedtime routine, then before I go to bed I'll give him a dream feed at 10 or 11. This will top him up so I won't have to feed him in the middle of the night (when he wakes up himself) or feel guilty about starving him. When he's sleeping right through (note my naive optimism) I'll boost his daytime food a little more and start giving him the dream feed earlier each night until it's cut right out.
And this will definitely definitely definitely work and we'll all live happily (not sleepily) ever after.
The End.
"What are you talking about Mommy? I wouldn't keep you from sleeping!"
I decided to go with the Baby Whisperer once again, but instead of doing the "pick-up/put-down" technique, it was more of a "put-down" because he was at the age where picking him up constantly would distract more than comfort. He got his bedtime feed, then he was cut off from feeding for at least 8 hours. This is where I deviated from the Baby Whisperer because, according to her, at his age he should be able to go 12 hours without a feed. On the first night his growling stomach after 8 hours told me otherwise. Although it was necessary to feed him in the middle of the nights, usually at about 3 AM, I think this is what ended up keeping the plan from being totally effective. He would settle with just being put down when he stood up in anywhere from 8 minutes to two hours, and was sleeping longer stretches overall. He even managed a couple of 7 hour stretches, although they were at the beginning of the night so I didn't get the same 7 hours of sleep unfortunately. The problem ended up being that after I gave him his feed in the middle of the night he would start getting up every hour to eat and/or be very wakeful. A couple of weeks ago a combination of things began to throw us off track even more. First of all, my exhausted body began tricking my mind in the middle of the night into believing that he should most definitely be coming into our bed to be fed at midnight. I distinctly remember feeling that this was a rational act, despite Russ asking me what the hell I thought I was doing. Then teething hit. His four upper front teeth have been sloooooowly and evidently very painfully making their way down for a couple of weeks and he's totally miserable about it. This combined with the crazy heat wave of last week (and therefore his increased thirst and my decreased desire to have a sweaty screaming child hanging off me) had me feeding him every time he woke up crying. And that brings us to now. His teeth still aren't totally out and he's cranky about it off and on. He's gotten used to being fed every time he wakes up, so now he's sleeping about a 3 hour stretch at the beginning of the night, then waking about every hour and a half or two hours thereafter. I usually bring him into our bed after the fourth or so waking. My overall attitude has been ok about it, but I've definitely been super grouchy during the day when I got woken up a lot the previous night or when the boys all decided that 5 AM is a good time to wake up (oh my children, you just wait until you're sleepy teenagers and I decide that 5 AM is a good time for you to wake up).
And now the new plan! (Because I'm so good at being consistent with this sleep training thing) Next week we're going down to Niagara Falls and Marineland for 3 days, so there's no point in starting anything before then. I'll just have to suffer through the next 7 days and make Russ get up with them in the morning so I can sleep in. Right. Once we're settled back at home I'm going to do the regular bedtime routine, then before I go to bed I'll give him a dream feed at 10 or 11. This will top him up so I won't have to feed him in the middle of the night (when he wakes up himself) or feel guilty about starving him. When he's sleeping right through (note my naive optimism) I'll boost his daytime food a little more and start giving him the dream feed earlier each night until it's cut right out.
And this will definitely definitely definitely work and we'll all live happily (not sleepily) ever after.
The End.
"What are you talking about Mommy? I wouldn't keep you from sleeping!"
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Because My Bathroom Doesn't Smell Pissy Enough.
On Saturday evening I went into the downstairs bathroom to get the boys' toothbrushes ready for them. I glanced around while doing so and noticed a puddle in front of the toilet and some droplets between it and the sink, most likely due to Roanen's earlier attempt at getting himself a drink of water with a floppy silicone muffin cup. Then I happened to look down into the garbage can. I wondered what had been put in there that made crumpled up paper towel turn yellow. Then I saw yellow droplets on the side of the bag and it hit me. I stomped into the kitchen where the boys were having their snack and asked Josey "Did you pee in the garbage?" He immediately got a wide-eyed deer in the headlights look on his face and asked innocently "How do you know I peed in the garbage?". Little bum. When he finally confessed (which he only did because I cracked a smile at the absurdity of the act), it came out that he wanted to "make a lake" in the can, evidently after he had already started in the toilet and couldn't stop the stream while he switched receptacles. Naturally I forgot all about it until we got home from Ottawa yesterday and now my bathroom reeks of old pee. I love having boys.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
The End Of The Wonkiness...Maybe
On Monday Roanen got his eye surgery. Everyone at CHEO was really great, especially the male nurse who gave him his sedative along with some blowing bubbles, which greatly amused him until he got too buzzed to do anything but flop on Russ, giggle at his stuffed lamb and inform the nurse in a slurred voice that he got a sticker. Other than sleeping for an inordinate amount of time in recovery (we were told 15-20 minutes and he slept almost two hours) everything seems to have gone pretty well. The outside whites of his eyes are bloody red with a couple of stitches each (ew), and now instead of sliding outwards he's a little cross-eyed, which is temporary and apparently desirable according to the doctor. Now we just have to wait and see whether the strabismus was fully corrected. If it's still wonky the surgery will have to be repeated which would really suck because he's been miserable and freaking out, especialy when I have to put ointment on his eyelashes. Awesomely gross "after" pictures to come as soon as I can upload from my camera.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Some Antibiotics Might Clear That Up...
"Mommy, Daddy's penis looks like a turkey."
(No blue balls jokes, please)
(No blue balls jokes, please)
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Get You A Waxin', Woman
Lately Josey has been watching too much adult television. He especially likes the commercials, because THEY PROMISE that their product is the best and that you DESPERATELY NEED IT. It started off innocently enough with the Food Network airing a Nutri-Slim commercial at least once every ten minutes. Josey was fascinated by the pictures of the food, especially the desserts (whose filming, I might add, required a zoom lens because of the tiny portion sizes) and would ask "Do you want to get that, Mommy?" every time it aired. Next came the Proactive commercials. Despite the fact that I (thankGodthankGodthankGodknockonwood) have had pretty clear skin since I was pregnant with Roanen, Josey feels that I also need that. Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Love Hewitt say so too. Then came Garnier Nutrisse. Both Josey and Sarah Jessica Parker would like me to see a dermatologist AND a nutritionist every day.
Thankfully I've managed to explain the concept of commericials to him so now he forms his own opinions. Opinions like, "You need to lose weight, Mommy" out of the blue. My personal favourite though is "It's just not right!" and "DO something about that hair - raze it or something!", spoken with utter disgust while gagging at the sight of my unmaintained nakedness. We've gotten him away from the tv, now if we could only pry Grampa's old Playboys out of his little hands. In the meantime I will have to aspire to be his ideal Mommy, a wrinkle-free anorexic with a brazilian.
Thankfully I've managed to explain the concept of commericials to him so now he forms his own opinions. Opinions like, "You need to lose weight, Mommy" out of the blue. My personal favourite though is "It's just not right!" and "DO something about that hair - raze it or something!", spoken with utter disgust while gagging at the sight of my unmaintained nakedness. We've gotten him away from the tv, now if we could only pry Grampa's old Playboys out of his little hands. In the meantime I will have to aspire to be his ideal Mommy, a wrinkle-free anorexic with a brazilian.
Monday, May 05, 2008
Crying It Out
In the past couple of weeks I've started to compose a blog in my head about crying it out and each time I've gotten so angry and emotional that I had to stop before my head exploded. The catalyst was the visit from our therapist and home worker where we discussed the "treatment" for our "troubled" family.
My biggest worry was for Roanen. The impression I got from previous visits was that we were basically going to lock him in his room and let him cry until he passed out, so I was relieved to hear that we were just to bring him back to his bed as soon as he came into our room. Relieved, that is, and slightly annoyed that Russ eagerly accepted this idea when they presented it, after I had presented it many times as common sense.
The girls then proudly presented their solution for Tristan's sleep issues. They had done a TON of research and talked to many people in their field and found the best way to deal with it. The answers were all in this MAGICAL BOOK written by someone extremely knowledgeable on the subject. The book? A very famous book by a certain doctor with a whole METHOD named after him: Ferber (can you hear the hate and disgust with which I type the name?). Um, apparently someone missed the memo about how I had a little problem with the cry-it-out method? Or else they sat around bored one day and said "You know what would be funny? Let's tell Lindsay that she has to let her kids scream for hours without comforting them. Let's take bets on whether she'll cry!" And you know what? I did. Or at least I visibly teared up, then I composed myself because the last thing I needed was for them to see me fall apart when they already think I'm guilt-ridden and ruining my kids with coddling. I went temporarily insane and agreed that it had to be done. We made up a plan in which we were to go to him when he cried, comfort for less than a minute without touching (?!..?!!?), then leave. We could go back at 5 minute intervals and he would eventually cry himself to sleep. He would be sleeping through the night within a week and a half. Yes it would be hard, but worth it in the end.
Once they left, reality set in. I looked through the photocopied pages they gave me that coldly stated that I was doing him an injustice by letting him use me as a comfort tool, and that it made children feel anxious and worried, not comforted, to co-sleep. I looked through The No-Cry Sleep Solution and reread the part that describes in heart-wrenching detail how a baby must feel when it's left to cry Then I looked at him and realized that as tired as I constantly am, as frustrated as I get when I have to nurse him for the sixth time in one night, and as angry as he makes me when he screams for hours at a time while alternately reaching for me and pushing me away, I couldn't do it. I couldn't listen to him get as hysterical as I know he would get and not comfort him, not even touch him. And despite being assured that doing this wouldn't cause any permanent emotional damage, how exactly do they know? When a baby begins sleeping through the night after crying it out is it really because they've learned to self-soothe, or is it because they've resigned themself to the fact that they're not deserving of comfort at night by the people who are supposed to love them unconditionally? As far as I was concerned, the end just wouldn't justify the means. I called the home worker the next day and told her I wasn't going to go through with it.
Since then, Tristan's sleeping habits have once again deteriorated. His longest stretch at night is 2-1/2 hours, but it's not uncommon for him to wake up 40 minutes after I finish nursing him. The past few nights I've brought him into our bed the fifth or sixth time he's woken up and when that happens he pretty much wants to nurse constantly. That being said, I still don't regret my decision. One of the things that I've gained with having another baby with sleep issues is perspective. I know that while things suck pretty badly right now I won't be having to nurse him 8 times a night a year from now, let alone for the rest of my life. Both the home worker and Russ gave me the look that says "isn't that nice that you're fooling yourself" along with a mental pat on the head when I told them that, but I'm not going to do something I'm completely against to please them when I'm the one who has to deal with feeling bad about it afterwards.
For now I don't really have a plan. The boys and I have been really sick for the past week so I'm too desperate for any kind of sleep to even think of a plan, much less act on one. My one extreme is to just deal with it until he's old enough to be sleep-trained like his brothers were. My other extreme, and the closest to crying it out I would ever do, is to stand by his crib and lie him down every time he stands up, comforting him with touch and my voice. And even that scares me a little bit. We'll see how much more of this I can take.
My biggest worry was for Roanen. The impression I got from previous visits was that we were basically going to lock him in his room and let him cry until he passed out, so I was relieved to hear that we were just to bring him back to his bed as soon as he came into our room. Relieved, that is, and slightly annoyed that Russ eagerly accepted this idea when they presented it, after I had presented it many times as common sense.
The girls then proudly presented their solution for Tristan's sleep issues. They had done a TON of research and talked to many people in their field and found the best way to deal with it. The answers were all in this MAGICAL BOOK written by someone extremely knowledgeable on the subject. The book? A very famous book by a certain doctor with a whole METHOD named after him: Ferber (can you hear the hate and disgust with which I type the name?). Um, apparently someone missed the memo about how I had a little problem with the cry-it-out method? Or else they sat around bored one day and said "You know what would be funny? Let's tell Lindsay that she has to let her kids scream for hours without comforting them. Let's take bets on whether she'll cry!" And you know what? I did. Or at least I visibly teared up, then I composed myself because the last thing I needed was for them to see me fall apart when they already think I'm guilt-ridden and ruining my kids with coddling. I went temporarily insane and agreed that it had to be done. We made up a plan in which we were to go to him when he cried, comfort for less than a minute without touching (?!..?!!?), then leave. We could go back at 5 minute intervals and he would eventually cry himself to sleep. He would be sleeping through the night within a week and a half. Yes it would be hard, but worth it in the end.
Once they left, reality set in. I looked through the photocopied pages they gave me that coldly stated that I was doing him an injustice by letting him use me as a comfort tool, and that it made children feel anxious and worried, not comforted, to co-sleep. I looked through The No-Cry Sleep Solution and reread the part that describes in heart-wrenching detail how a baby must feel when it's left to cry Then I looked at him and realized that as tired as I constantly am, as frustrated as I get when I have to nurse him for the sixth time in one night, and as angry as he makes me when he screams for hours at a time while alternately reaching for me and pushing me away, I couldn't do it. I couldn't listen to him get as hysterical as I know he would get and not comfort him, not even touch him. And despite being assured that doing this wouldn't cause any permanent emotional damage, how exactly do they know? When a baby begins sleeping through the night after crying it out is it really because they've learned to self-soothe, or is it because they've resigned themself to the fact that they're not deserving of comfort at night by the people who are supposed to love them unconditionally? As far as I was concerned, the end just wouldn't justify the means. I called the home worker the next day and told her I wasn't going to go through with it.
Since then, Tristan's sleeping habits have once again deteriorated. His longest stretch at night is 2-1/2 hours, but it's not uncommon for him to wake up 40 minutes after I finish nursing him. The past few nights I've brought him into our bed the fifth or sixth time he's woken up and when that happens he pretty much wants to nurse constantly. That being said, I still don't regret my decision. One of the things that I've gained with having another baby with sleep issues is perspective. I know that while things suck pretty badly right now I won't be having to nurse him 8 times a night a year from now, let alone for the rest of my life. Both the home worker and Russ gave me the look that says "isn't that nice that you're fooling yourself" along with a mental pat on the head when I told them that, but I'm not going to do something I'm completely against to please them when I'm the one who has to deal with feeling bad about it afterwards.
For now I don't really have a plan. The boys and I have been really sick for the past week so I'm too desperate for any kind of sleep to even think of a plan, much less act on one. My one extreme is to just deal with it until he's old enough to be sleep-trained like his brothers were. My other extreme, and the closest to crying it out I would ever do, is to stand by his crib and lie him down every time he stands up, comforting him with touch and my voice. And even that scares me a little bit. We'll see how much more of this I can take.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Our Budding Photographer
This past Christmas Josey received his own digital camera. He had been taking some fabulous pictures with my camera, so we had high expectations of him. We weren't disappointed.
This one is my favourite. It definitely looks like it could be in a gallery or on a CD cover. Who needs eyes in a picture when the goatee expresses so much emotion on its own:
Have I mentioned that I look very much like my father? This is me in 25 or so years. I fear for my future (note: limited edition picture - my mom is going to make me remove this):
"Separated at Birth?"
"Self-Portrait - Sadness" Ok, so he didn't take this, but it still counts:
This kid is so quick and adept, he can even catch those rare moments when his brother is missing a nose. Watch out, Loch Ness Monster:
Missing from this show, "Fat Cat In Motion", a series of 50 pictures documenting Annabelle's every move while walking across the kitchen. Also, "500 Photos of Mom Making The Same Stupid Face", which was lost in an unfortunate deleting accident. See photo #2 above. They pretty much look like that, but with glasses and messy hair. Groan.
This one is my favourite. It definitely looks like it could be in a gallery or on a CD cover. Who needs eyes in a picture when the goatee expresses so much emotion on its own:
Have I mentioned that I look very much like my father? This is me in 25 or so years. I fear for my future (note: limited edition picture - my mom is going to make me remove this):
"Separated at Birth?"
"Self-Portrait - Sadness" Ok, so he didn't take this, but it still counts:
This kid is so quick and adept, he can even catch those rare moments when his brother is missing a nose. Watch out, Loch Ness Monster:
Missing from this show, "Fat Cat In Motion", a series of 50 pictures documenting Annabelle's every move while walking across the kitchen. Also, "500 Photos of Mom Making The Same Stupid Face", which was lost in an unfortunate deleting accident. See photo #2 above. They pretty much look like that, but with glasses and messy hair. Groan.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Let's See How Many Times I Can Use The Word "Suck" In One Form Or Another
Today I feel...wait for it...good! Pretty amazing considering how hellish the last few weeks have been. Obviously I haven't been blogging much lately and it's mostly because sleep training sucks and preschoolers suck and I don't want to relive my sucky days by writing about them at night when the suckage temporarily stops. Today, however, hasn't sucked too much so far so I'm taking a little bit of time to blog. Lucky you.
Last night was a not-so-bad night for me. Russ and I switched roles and he put Tristan to sleep while I put the boys down, something that usually ends with bad results. Luckily Tristan went down no problem (ok, so putting him to sleep hasn't been much of a problem lately) and even the boys didn't give me any grief other than Roanen crying about wanting "MY songs" but not telling me what they were. I was even able to leave the room before he was totally asleep, something that we've been working on and that I've never been able to accomplish before. In the past couple of days Tristan has been settling himself occasionally when he wakes up and he did so a couple of times before we went to bed. Naturally as soon as I got into bed he really woke up and started crying. I've been really torn about what to do when he wakes up at night. According to the Baby Whisperer I'm supposed to do pick up/put down until he goes back to sleep and he's not to be fed between 7 PM and 7 AM if he's getting enough food during the day (which I finally think he is since he's taken so well to solids). The problem is that once he gets really crying he gets so worked up that he won't settle without nursing. I'm talking hysterical crying for hours and if he DOES finally settle, it doesn't last. I haven't yet managed to go an entire night without feeding him and he calms right down and generally sleeps for a chunk after he nurses. The verdict is that I'm going to combine a couple of sleep training techniques: the Baby Whisperer stuff for when he's first going down at night or for a nap, as well as when he wakes up at night and settles back down easily with shushing, and the No-Cry Sleep Solution techniques for the middle of the night when he won't settle back down easily. Basically that means nursing him when he wakes up, but not for longer than it takes for his sucking to slow down. I have a bad habit of falling asleep on the couch in his room while I'm nursing him and it tends to make him sleep really restlessly. As well, our bed is off limits. Since I've started the sleep training he has been intolerable in our bed, fussing and wanting to nurse constantly and I can't deal with it. It's actually easier to be awake and dealing with him in his room than half-ass sleeping and dealing with him in ours.
So back to last night, I nursed Tristan right at my bedtime, then once at about 2 and once at about 5. He slept in until 7, which I was able to do as well since Russ was home until then to entertain the boys before he had to leave for work. Of course just before the 2 AM feed Roanen came into our room and climbed into bed on my side because he knew Russ would get mad at him if he went to him. I put him back in his room after the 5 AM feed, then nearly got to sleep when Josey started calling for me. When I went in to check on him he was standing in the middle of the room and he said "Mommy! What did the Backyardigans have for snack?" as which point I tossed him into his bed and went back to mine.
I realize that I probably shouldn't be thrilled about a night like that, but I feel pretty energetic and well rested today so I'll take it. The best part was to come this morning though. Around 9:15 I took Tristan upstairs for his nap, sang him a couple of songs and put him down in his crib. He wasn't overtired so he just smiled and talked to me, which I took as a sign to leave. He fussed a little bit, but 5 minutes later HE WAS ASLEEP. ASLEEP. ON HIS OWN. I REPEAT, ON HIS OWN. WITHOUT ANYONE IN THE ROOM. I mean, Roanen still has a hard time with that and Josey didn't do it until he was 2 1/2. I'm ecstatic. I'm not assuming that this will happen every time, but it's definitely a step in the right direction. Yay.
On other fronts, we have our Nanny 911-esque sessions with a home worker starting in a couple of weeks. All the assessments are done and the worker will be helping us out with sleeping (which I actually hope to resolve before she gets here), self-soothing for Roanen and Tristan and discipline. We really haven't had many problems with Roanen lately, even though he was the main reason we originally called for help. That being said, he's been standing at the glass door in the playroom for the last 20 minutes in hysterics because I *gasp* locked them in there to play with their zillions of toys so they wouldn't wake Tristan up. I'm mostly excited about the discipline part. We've been having a ton of problems with Josey lately. He refuses to listen to anything from "Please turn off the tv and get your boots on" to "Get out of Tristan's face, he's scared of you" to "Don't run into the busy road or you'll get run over". He gets physically aggressive with the younger boys and myself and is getting time-outs at preschool because of bad behaviour. Time-outs are hard because I end up having to chase him around the house when he gets one and drag him into his time-out spot. Overall sucky behaviour which will (hopefully) get resolved sometime before he's bigger than me. Too bad I can't take the car keys away.
And finally, a conversation between Josey and Roanen:
Josey: "I'm all done my granola bar, Roanen. Can I please have some of yours?"
Roanen: "Ok, Josey. Here you go"
Josey: "Thanks Roanen"
Roanen: "You're welcome Josey"
And I didn't even imagine it.
Last night was a not-so-bad night for me. Russ and I switched roles and he put Tristan to sleep while I put the boys down, something that usually ends with bad results. Luckily Tristan went down no problem (ok, so putting him to sleep hasn't been much of a problem lately) and even the boys didn't give me any grief other than Roanen crying about wanting "MY songs" but not telling me what they were. I was even able to leave the room before he was totally asleep, something that we've been working on and that I've never been able to accomplish before. In the past couple of days Tristan has been settling himself occasionally when he wakes up and he did so a couple of times before we went to bed. Naturally as soon as I got into bed he really woke up and started crying. I've been really torn about what to do when he wakes up at night. According to the Baby Whisperer I'm supposed to do pick up/put down until he goes back to sleep and he's not to be fed between 7 PM and 7 AM if he's getting enough food during the day (which I finally think he is since he's taken so well to solids). The problem is that once he gets really crying he gets so worked up that he won't settle without nursing. I'm talking hysterical crying for hours and if he DOES finally settle, it doesn't last. I haven't yet managed to go an entire night without feeding him and he calms right down and generally sleeps for a chunk after he nurses. The verdict is that I'm going to combine a couple of sleep training techniques: the Baby Whisperer stuff for when he's first going down at night or for a nap, as well as when he wakes up at night and settles back down easily with shushing, and the No-Cry Sleep Solution techniques for the middle of the night when he won't settle back down easily. Basically that means nursing him when he wakes up, but not for longer than it takes for his sucking to slow down. I have a bad habit of falling asleep on the couch in his room while I'm nursing him and it tends to make him sleep really restlessly. As well, our bed is off limits. Since I've started the sleep training he has been intolerable in our bed, fussing and wanting to nurse constantly and I can't deal with it. It's actually easier to be awake and dealing with him in his room than half-ass sleeping and dealing with him in ours.
So back to last night, I nursed Tristan right at my bedtime, then once at about 2 and once at about 5. He slept in until 7, which I was able to do as well since Russ was home until then to entertain the boys before he had to leave for work. Of course just before the 2 AM feed Roanen came into our room and climbed into bed on my side because he knew Russ would get mad at him if he went to him. I put him back in his room after the 5 AM feed, then nearly got to sleep when Josey started calling for me. When I went in to check on him he was standing in the middle of the room and he said "Mommy! What did the Backyardigans have for snack?" as which point I tossed him into his bed and went back to mine.
I realize that I probably shouldn't be thrilled about a night like that, but I feel pretty energetic and well rested today so I'll take it. The best part was to come this morning though. Around 9:15 I took Tristan upstairs for his nap, sang him a couple of songs and put him down in his crib. He wasn't overtired so he just smiled and talked to me, which I took as a sign to leave. He fussed a little bit, but 5 minutes later HE WAS ASLEEP. ASLEEP. ON HIS OWN. I REPEAT, ON HIS OWN. WITHOUT ANYONE IN THE ROOM. I mean, Roanen still has a hard time with that and Josey didn't do it until he was 2 1/2. I'm ecstatic. I'm not assuming that this will happen every time, but it's definitely a step in the right direction. Yay.
On other fronts, we have our Nanny 911-esque sessions with a home worker starting in a couple of weeks. All the assessments are done and the worker will be helping us out with sleeping (which I actually hope to resolve before she gets here), self-soothing for Roanen and Tristan and discipline. We really haven't had many problems with Roanen lately, even though he was the main reason we originally called for help. That being said, he's been standing at the glass door in the playroom for the last 20 minutes in hysterics because I *gasp* locked them in there to play with their zillions of toys so they wouldn't wake Tristan up. I'm mostly excited about the discipline part. We've been having a ton of problems with Josey lately. He refuses to listen to anything from "Please turn off the tv and get your boots on" to "Get out of Tristan's face, he's scared of you" to "Don't run into the busy road or you'll get run over". He gets physically aggressive with the younger boys and myself and is getting time-outs at preschool because of bad behaviour. Time-outs are hard because I end up having to chase him around the house when he gets one and drag him into his time-out spot. Overall sucky behaviour which will (hopefully) get resolved sometime before he's bigger than me. Too bad I can't take the car keys away.
And finally, a conversation between Josey and Roanen:
Josey: "I'm all done my granola bar, Roanen. Can I please have some of yours?"
Roanen: "Ok, Josey. Here you go"
Josey: "Thanks Roanen"
Roanen: "You're welcome Josey"
And I didn't even imagine it.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
An Easter (Quasi-) Miracle
After months of 10+ wakeups per night, 10+ mini nursing sessions per night, much fussing, a seriously sore back (and boobs for that matter), and a bed that was no longer parents-only, I decided that I needed to seriously buckle down and attempt to sleep train Tristan. This past long weekend seemed perfect. I had four nights that were followed by days that either my parents or Russ were around to support me if I needed to pass out from exhaustion so I mentally and emotionally prepared myself for the torture ahead.
I chose to follow the Baby Whisperer's "Pick Up / Put Down" method, with a few adjustments. I really don't think Tristan is getting enough calories during the day to sustain him through a long period at night so I figured I'd feed him if I felt it had been long enough (and/or I was so freaking tired that I didn't have the energy to listen to him scream). I really wasn't expecting him to start sleeping through the night within a couple of days; my main goals were to get him to sleep without nursing, rocking or bouncing him, have him go a decent amount of time between nursing sessions, and keep him out of our bed. So far I'm fairly happy about our progress. Although I don't have set times for naps and bedtimes yet, I'm trying to put him down for his nap 2 hours after he wakes up from his previous wakeup time and he's been taking 5 or 20 minutes (yes, one or the other for some reason) to fall asleep. We sing a couple of songs, then I lay him down on his tummy (because I've always been an evil parent who puts children to sleep the wrong way). Usually he starts crying within a couple of minutes at which point I pick him up and hold him until he quiets down, starts pushing me away, or a couple of minutes of crying passes. Then I put him down and start all over. Three days ago he started rolling over in protest which annoyed the hell out of me and made me have to hold him straight, but thankfully he isn't doing it as much anymore. Now he likes me to shush really loud while holding my hand on his back. Whatever works.
He seems to be getting used to going to sleep this way, which is good because I used to hate taking forever to get him to sleep. He hasn't slept in our bed since last Thursday night and he usually goes 2 to 4 hours between wakeups during the night. I've been giving him a "dream feed" at 10 PM where I basically pull him out of the crib and feed him while he's still asleep. When it goes as planned, he sleeps 2-3 hours before the dream feed, goes down without a problem afterwards, then sleeps another 4 hours afterwards. I usually feed him at this point, but when he doesn't go a full 4 hours I'm in for a screaming fight to get him back to sleep. Now I know that I shouldn't be excited about getting 4 hours of sleep but after what I've been through it's freaking awesome. Hopefully things will continue to improve. If he starts to regress I may have to be a little stricter with making sure he eats enough during the day and not feeding him at night, but for now I'm pretty happy with how things are going. Just don't ask me about it after a night of him screaming angrily in my face for an hour.
I chose to follow the Baby Whisperer's "Pick Up / Put Down" method, with a few adjustments. I really don't think Tristan is getting enough calories during the day to sustain him through a long period at night so I figured I'd feed him if I felt it had been long enough (and/or I was so freaking tired that I didn't have the energy to listen to him scream). I really wasn't expecting him to start sleeping through the night within a couple of days; my main goals were to get him to sleep without nursing, rocking or bouncing him, have him go a decent amount of time between nursing sessions, and keep him out of our bed. So far I'm fairly happy about our progress. Although I don't have set times for naps and bedtimes yet, I'm trying to put him down for his nap 2 hours after he wakes up from his previous wakeup time and he's been taking 5 or 20 minutes (yes, one or the other for some reason) to fall asleep. We sing a couple of songs, then I lay him down on his tummy (because I've always been an evil parent who puts children to sleep the wrong way). Usually he starts crying within a couple of minutes at which point I pick him up and hold him until he quiets down, starts pushing me away, or a couple of minutes of crying passes. Then I put him down and start all over. Three days ago he started rolling over in protest which annoyed the hell out of me and made me have to hold him straight, but thankfully he isn't doing it as much anymore. Now he likes me to shush really loud while holding my hand on his back. Whatever works.
He seems to be getting used to going to sleep this way, which is good because I used to hate taking forever to get him to sleep. He hasn't slept in our bed since last Thursday night and he usually goes 2 to 4 hours between wakeups during the night. I've been giving him a "dream feed" at 10 PM where I basically pull him out of the crib and feed him while he's still asleep. When it goes as planned, he sleeps 2-3 hours before the dream feed, goes down without a problem afterwards, then sleeps another 4 hours afterwards. I usually feed him at this point, but when he doesn't go a full 4 hours I'm in for a screaming fight to get him back to sleep. Now I know that I shouldn't be excited about getting 4 hours of sleep but after what I've been through it's freaking awesome. Hopefully things will continue to improve. If he starts to regress I may have to be a little stricter with making sure he eats enough during the day and not feeding him at night, but for now I'm pretty happy with how things are going. Just don't ask me about it after a night of him screaming angrily in my face for an hour.
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