Ok, now I can record stuff as it happens in something better than point form :)
Roanen may have turned a corner in his seemingly unhappy existence and has been quite content to play on his own and around Josey for the last couple of days. He still gets fussy once in a while, but I can actually get stuff done without him crawling after me and clinging to my leg, crying constantly. Knock on wood, but I finally feel like things are a little more normal. I can't wait for him to start walking so I don't have to lug him around everywhere, especially outside.
Josey's behaviour is also better, which I've decided is a reward for not killing him last week when he was a complete demon for 7 days straight. I had a horrible guilty mom moment at my mom's, though. Josey hit me, so he got a timeout on the landing going down to the basement (he won't stay in the corner so I have to put him down there and close the door. It's glass so he can see out - I'm not mean enough to just toss him somewhere where he can't see anything...) I waited an appropriate amount of time, then opened the door and asked him why he got a timeout (our usual ritual to make sure he understands why he's being punished) and he refused to answer me and screamed wildly for me to let him out. I told him he could come out when he calmed down and told me why he was having timeout, then closed the door again. This repeated itself several times, until he finally calmed down and told me why, then got a big hug. As usual when he gets really upset, he said he wanted to go to sleep and snuggle with me, so I took him up to our bed and lay down with him. After a couple of sniffles and sighs, he turned to me and said "Mommy, I sorry" and gave me a hug, then proceeded to say "My don't like myself". How's that for awful self-esteem in a 2 year old. Of course, he was his happy old self again in about 3 minutes so hopefully he doesn't have any serious issues, particularly none that were caused by me ;)