Since we're not telling anyone yet about the pregnancy, yet I still have lots to vent about, I got the brilliant idea to type this all up, save it in my drafts file, then post it when people know.
I am now 8 weeks, 3 days according to the ultrasound, at least 10 weeks according to me (the most reliable source), and about 12 weeks according to my cycle. So basically we're not really sure where I'm at. We had the positive pregnancy test on January 17th after several weeks of "I'm so crampy I'm DEFINITELY getting my period tomorrow", "No, there's absolutely no way I'm pregnant", 2 negative pregnancy tests, and one night-before-the-positive-test firm decision that being pregnant would be the worst thing ever. Needless to say we were completely shocked, and unfortunately I must say rather dismayed. Russ was a complete stress case, worrying about being able to afford a van since there's no way we can fit 3 car seats into the car. I'm much more concerned about the boys and myself. I had made the decision that we definitely did not want another baby until Roanen was over 2 1/2, probably closer to 3 1/2. Aside from the fact that, other than sleeping, Roanen is only now starting to get easier to deal with at 13 months, I really wanted to be able to concentrate on and enjoy just having the two of them. Roanen will still be pretty much a baby himself at 20 months when I'm due, and I feel so sorry for him, as well as for Josey since he hasn't gotten much one on one attention since needy Roanen was born. I couldn't get the least bit excited over the thought of having a tiny, screaming, carry-me-around, feed-me-now baby again.
Fortunately, while I was storing some boxes this morning, I saw the box of newborn sleepers and got a momentary twinge of excitement and anticipation. I figured it would happen eventually, but it was still a nice feeling, and a change from the usual panic and stress. I can also get excited about being pregnant in the summer (remind me of this when I'm complaining about feeling like a human furnace in August) so instead of the hideous, huge winter maternity sweaters I wore the last two times around I can get cool tops. I've already picked out $100 worth of tank tops alone on the Motherhood Maternity website. Woohoo shopping!
I'll be having another ultrasound at the very least in about 5 weeks for the maternal serum screening that I'm going to do, unless the doctor believes my side of the story and wants to check the dates again. We're not finding out the sex of the baby (my choice, not Russ') and Russ won't discuss names until I'm at least 6 months along. I've been feeling a little better than I did with my pregnancy with Josey; I get queasy if I haven't eaten in a while and I'm pretty low on energy and motivation, which sucks. I've had a bit of indigestion and some crazy bad heartburn a couple of times, and my pants still fit but are getting a little tighter. I notice a little bulge, but no one else would be able to, I'm sure. Nursing Roanen was killing me for a while but since we've really cut down on that it's been ok. I'm probably not (ok, definitely not) eating enough for me, Roanen, and the baby, but I figure the baby will probably get first dibs on everything I do eat since nature tends to work that way.
So that's pretty much the scoop up until now. I'm glad I can write it all now while I remember everything - I'm sure pregnancy brain will set in soon. Again. Sigh.