This Is Lindsay Blogging About Hats

When I was pregnant with Tristan I decided to actually knit something. I'd learned a basic knit and purl stitch when I was younger, but had never been motivated enough to learn to follow a pattern or make something other than a scarf (or 5000 unfinished scarves). I bought a kit for a baby cardigan/hat/booties and actually made it. It's pretty hideous and I have no desire to put in on Tristan, but it gave me enough practice to make some cute hats:

My first project - I also made a white hat with a pink flower.



Who doesn't need a hat like this?



One of my favourites that I didn't think would turn out well:



On my lovely assistant and hat model:



Anyone notice the girl theme going on there? Those were from when I was sure Tristan was going to be a girl. Oh, but I did get me some blue yarn to make this...



...which is girly nonetheless, according to my mom. Hey, I didn't add the frilly thing around the bottom that it was supposed to have. It fits on Roanen's melon head too:



Ok, Roanen isn't really a melon head. That title belongs to child #1, who partially stretched this baby onto his noggin after I had finished one "ear", changing it from a 12-18 month size to a 18-24 months size. Thanks buddy:



That one took me the longest to make. I was nearly done it when I went into labour with Tristan, and sadly put it aside to make a little green cap for his little boy head. *sob* I finally had enough time last week to sit down and actually finish it and start another. Coming soon: the Chick Hat.

I Stand Corrected.

Me: "Roanen, do you want to stay in the car?"
Roanen: "Nooooo....IT'S A VAN!"

Me: "Look, you get to wear a onesie with a bunny on it!"
Roanen: "That is a rabbit."

Fortunately he has yet to use the "disdainful teenager" tone of voice that Josey is perfecting.

This Is Lindsay Blogging

I've been neglectful of my blogging duties, so I will generously offer up a boring blog update.

Christmas is over! Yay! The boys got about a zillion presents (ok, not really, but over 50 anyway which is a ridiculous amount), but naturally it wasn't enough for Josey. After each present-opening session he would drag himself around sullenly, announcing to whomever was listening that he "only got (x amount) of presents...*sigh*" Poor kid. I really felt for him, hmmmm, not at all. The award for most unappreciated present goes to the big bag of MegaBloks given to him by his great aunt and uncle. He ripped off the wrapping paper to reveal a box previously occupied by a blender. How exciting! However, upon opening the box he found not a blender, but a bag of MegaBloks. Later, he sadly asked me where his blender went. Yet another disappointment.
The boys were all sick over the holidays, coughing, sneezing and expelling copious amounts of thick green stuff. In the spirit of the season they tried their best to share with others, resulting in both Russ and I being sick. Thank you, sweet children.
Best of all, when we got home after being gone from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day we somehow had enough laundry to cover half the playroom floor. I did laundry non-stop on Thursday and didn't even finish it. That amounted to three huge overflowing baskets which took me over an hour and a half to fold. Yesterday there were 1 1/2 baskets. Today I might get caught up. Laundry is no longer my favourite chore.

How I Measure Up.

Here's the story:

When I got pregnant with Josey I weighed a very normal and acceptable 125 pounds. I wasn't thrilled with my level of tone and was definitely not in even remotely good cardiovascular condition, but I found myself physically tolerable - for me. I gained 16 pounds during the pregnancy, and my weight ended up as low as 109 pounds while I was breasfeeding. I was pretty skeletal and gross looking, with only a tiny bit of extra skin around my belly to show that I'd been pregnant. I was 115 pounds when I got pregnant with Roanen, and this time I gained 25 pounds, and went back down to around 115 pounds afterwards, looking pretty much the same as before. Then came Tristan. I gained an amount somewhere between the first two pregancies, but having my second and third so close together, combined with my really bad eating habits ("the baby NEEDS me to have ice cream every night!") really messed up my body - FOR ME.

(Has anyone noticed the bold yet? That's my disclaimer, because I know you're all thinking WAH WAH, sucks to be you, and you have to understand that it's about how I perceive myself and not what anyone else thinks. I am allowed to be unhappy about the way I look because my standards for myself are super high and I don't want to look "good for a mother of three". I want to look amazing, period. So shut up.)

Anyway, now that no one is reading anymore, I will continue. I am completely disgusted with the way I look right now. I'm back to 125 pounds, which is a fine weight, but my proportions and my tone are totally whacko. After Josey and Roanen, the last thing to return to normal was my hips. I couldn't fit into my regular pants for about 4 weeks give or take, but eventually it happened. This time my hips barely moved afterwards, which isn't such a bad thing on it's own, but my stomach turned to flabby mush and somehow any weight I had in my face, shoulders and neck slipped down into my belly and thighs. My wardrobe, which used to consist of tight shirts and teeny jeans, has turned into two pairs of pants (my maternity jeans and a pair of khakis that fit through more than half of my pregnancy), a maternity/breastfeeding tanktop with a maternity zip-up sweater, and two long, baggy at the waist breastfeeding shirts. NOTHING ELSE FITS. It SUCKS and I'm miserable about it. While I've finally given in and bought larger clothes, I've also decided that I'm going to start doing something about it. This thought was only partly motivated by the fact that my dad poked me in the belly today like I was the Pillsbury Doughboy and commented that I must be "relaxed". (No I am not mad or upset about it, in fact he's the only person that is honest enough to tell me - in that subtle way - that I don't look as good as I used to.) The problem is it's freezing and snowy outside, and I have a baby attached at the boob, which is not conducive to the things I want to start doing, like running and yoga or pilates. For now I'm just going to make a couple of changes so I can ease into the whole process (because I have a tendency to go all out, then burn out).

First, I'm going to start drinking more water. I'm horrible at keeping hydrated and I often go from morning to evening without peeing. Not good normally, but particularly bad when breastfeeding. So I'm going to get some kind of yummy little chocolate thingies and reward myself with one for every 16 oz of water I drink, because I always need a reward. I'm going to aim for 3 litres a day while I'm breastfeeding.
Next, I'm going to stop eating after dinner. I've gotten into the habit of having a bowl of ice cream or a bunch of cookies almost every evening and I'm sure it's not helping the cause.
Finally, I'm going to incorporate some kind of physical activity into my day. When I'm stuck inside it's going to have to be something like going up and down the stairs a million times, but if I can muster up the motivation I'll strap the baby to myself, get the kids suited up (groan) and go outside, where I'll walk up and down the driveway (which I'll have to do anyway to keep Tristan from freaking while in the wrap).

If you're totally disgusted with me, head over to Proud To Be A Fit Mom . She explains the reasons for a "skinny" mom wanting to look good way better (and less offensively) than I do.

Now the fun part. I took some basic measurements today as a starting point so I can monitor my progress:

Upper Thighs (my newest problem area): 22"
Hips: 38 1/4"
Waist: 32"
Shoulders: 38"

I didn't bother with my bust measurement since that changes hourly :) I also got Russ to take pictures of me in a bikini which I will post once I upload them. And when I stop hyperventilating about it.

I Like Talking About You You You You Usually. But Occasionally...

I Want To Talk About Me!

Aren't you impressed with all my literary and musical references lately? Makes me feel like not all my brain cells were expelled during childbirth...

So anyway, although technically the baby of the family, I've realized that I have a serious case of middle child syndrome most likely due to the fact that my mom started babysitting a younger and way cuter kid when I was 2. I dealt with this by a) punching him in the nose, giving him chronic nosebleeds and b) feeling the need to be the center of attention at all times. Naturally it has been difficult for me to relinquish this attention now that I have kids. When I started this blog I intended for it to be all about them (hence the name), and so far I've managed to keep it totally kid-related. The problem is that when something interesting happens to me that isn't about the kids I feel like I can't blog about it. I might lose my gazillions of readers who faithfully log on with the sole purpose of hearing the latest on my pants-peeing, night-screaming, explosive-pooping children (in that order). However, now that my life involves approximately 3.4 seconds per day of non child-related activities like running as fast as I can to the chicken coop to get eggs before the boys realize I'm gone and start trying to pull Tristan out of the swing, I've decided that I reeeeeeeally want to share those moments with you all (that's "youse" to those of you living in my neck of the woods...all one of you). Therefore, in true middle child spirit, from now on my blog will include charming stories about yours truly. If anything charmed ever happens to me.

A Snack, By Any Other Name, Would Not Taste As Sweet.

Look at me - I read a book once.

Russ started his new job yesterday morning and had to leave at the same time he used to get up. This caused some major issues when it came to the boys getting up (which is usually at the same time as Russ or shortly thereafter) and having their snack.
When Josey was just over a year old Russ started giving him a snack every morning to hold him over until I dragged myself out of bed and made breakfast. For the longest time he had a banana and his vitamin for snack day in and day out. Then he started having some dried apricots and his vitamin. This continued with Roanen, to the point that Russ was pretty much giving them a full breakfast some days. Up until yesterday, asking the boys what they had for snack yielded answers anywhere from "a vitamin and a little orange" to "my vitamin, some cottage cheese, an egg, and a piece of toast with jam". Regardless of how little or how much they had eaten earlier on, Josey still insisted on needing both a snack and his breakfast, which was anything from a bowl of cereal or oatmeal to pancakes to eggs, toasts and fruit. If he woke up after Russ had left he would freak out when I suggested just having breakfast. If, by chance, he forgot about the snack and I just made breakfast, a little while later he would suddenly remember that "we forgot to have snack!" and insist that we eat something else "for snack".
Now that I'm in total charge of the boys pretty much from the time they wake up, I've informed them two days in a row that they will not be having two meals first thing in the morning, and that I will make one large breakfast a little later than we usually have snack. This has caused crying, screaming, and the insistence that they NEED a snack or else they may die of starvation in the hour between waking and breakfast (they can have fruit if they really need something in the meantime, but I ain't making pancakes). I'm standing firm on this point though, so this morning I dubbed our meal "sneakfast" to avoid mentioning the forbidden "s" or "b" words. They did not appreciate my cleverness.

Last night Tristan slept 6 hours straight, from 9 to 3. Amazing, yes, but did I get to enjoy it? No, because Roanen woke up for the third time at 1:30 and fussed and cried, even in our bed, for an hour and a quarter, when Russ finally tossed him into his bed where he immediately passed out. I'll forgive him a little, because he's still sick and coughing pretty badly at night, but I really would have liked to sleep during the 6 hours that Tristan did. It may be a little premature, but I'm hoping that Tristan's apparent laissez-faire attitude about nursing at night may be to my advantage when it comes to him sleeping fully through the night. Seriously, I have to have one good infant sleeper. I'm entitled.

Just Call Him Beaver

There's a book out called Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box. Think the preschool teacher has read it?

Is That Your Final Answer?

I'm back on milk. On Saturday night I had a mini-freakout about not having prepared for dinner, and we ended up deciding that last week's bad days probably weren't dairy related after all. We got some really good cheesy, buttery, yummy takeout from a restaurant in town and crossed our fingers. So far Tristan has had no reaction to it. I'm still avoiding chocolate just in case that's the problem (which makes more sense since I have chocolate allergies) but I'm looking forward to trying it out sometime soon...

In other news, Josey has croup and is feeling crappy, and Roanen somehow hurt his wrist and is having a hard time doing normal things like lifting food to his mouth with his left hand and climbing on things (that one's a shame). Both the boys have been getting up at 5 AM and Roanen freaks out when we don't immediately "GO DOWNSTAIRS!" like he wants. I think daylight savings time hasn't kicked in yet for them, and wasn't helped by the fact that we started putting them to bed an hour earlier last week.

I think I'm going to start posting stuff about our little farm soon, if only to be just like the Pioneer Woman. Actually I just think everyone is dying to see graphic pictures of the next time we get our chickens slaughtered. Admit it, you are.

And The Bad Mommy Award Goes To...

Yesterday was our busiest day of the week, with Tristan's 2 months doctor's appointment (complete with shots) and Josey starting his preschool class. It had crossed my mind that the timing may be tight since the appointment was at 11:15 and preschool started at 12:30 and we had to fit lunch in somewhere, but I wasn't that worried since morning appointments are usually quicker and I figured that I could do drive-thru at Wendy's or something in a pinch. Naturally on this particular day the doctor was running behind and also ended up talking to a patient on the phone for about 20 minutes while we waited. I was watching the clock, and we seemed to be doing ok for time provided we skipped lunch and hauled ass over to preschool. The boys behaved well during the appointment, but the couple of minutes grace time we had were eaten up when Josey decided to run directly out of the office and into the cubby between the two glass doors leading outside. I was waiting for my next appointment booking while holding Tristan when this happened and I peeked out the door to see a woman standing in there with him. After all the warnings we'd given him about not running outside without anyone, I thought he'd know better than to go all the way out, but sure enough when he saw me looking at him, he took off out the door. Roanen was playing with the toys, so I set Tristan into his carseat and ran out after Josey (and the woman), who was tossed into the van and told to buckle himself up. Back in the office I walked past all the staring, disapproving people, announcing that he was in the van just in case they thought I was just letting him run through the streets by himself. Tristan, who started screaming as soon as I put him down, was being held by some woman who was evidently madly in love with him. Just as I got the carseat ready (while this woman unhurriedly walked him around showing him off) Josey came running back into the office, because apparently he now knows how to get out of the van by himself. By the time I got everyone into the van it was 12:33 and I was freaking out about being late and Josey not being fed. I told him he could reach into his bag and eat his snack that I had packed for preschool (that was just a precaution because I didn't think they'd actually have a snack there). When we got to the rec center, I rushed them out of the van with Tristan screaming and Josey moving as slowly as possible because he doesn't like people to know that he's with me, and brought them inside. As I got his jacket off, the organizer wanted to verify that I had packed a snack for him so I pulled out the snack bag, which now contained 3 half eaten crackers. Fortunately Josey was perfectly happy to stay by himself (yippee!) so I said goodbye and rushed out, remembering once I was outside again that he hadn't peed since well before leaving the house and was sure to wet his pants since I hadn't told him about asking one of the teachers to take him to the bathroom. When we picked him up at 2:30 I was happy to find out that A) he had a great time and didn't want to leave and B) when he had to pee he had asked the teacher to take him. The happiness ended when the teacher asked Josey "And what are we going to tell Mommy to pack for next week?" to which he responded "A drink". The teacher had to share with him, and I can only imagine what she was thinking about a mother who packed some chewed-up crackers and no drink for a snack. He was wearing pretty ratty looking clothes too, so she probably figures I'm just another one of those white trash welfare moms. Yay. Next week we're making muffins FROM SCRATCH and cutting up veggies for snack. And I'll give him TWO drinks. Yeah, that'll show them.

Just Get Off The Cow!

For the record, I didnt go too crazy on the dairy. Aside from the sorta-cheese on Monday night I didn't have any pure dairy like milk or yogurt and I even restricted foods with dairy ingredients in them. I was good, really I was. Unfortunately Tristan has been excessively cranky since Tuesday evening and I'm going to have to cut dairy out again to see if it helps. His nights have been really good though (after he finally passes out after screaming for hours) and he's slept 5 hour stretches at the beginning of the night 3 nights in a row. I'll be talking to both the doctor and a lactation consultant about it all today, but I'm already preparing myself for a long cheeseless, rice milky year. Ugh.

Mmmmmm Dairy.

Just a quick note to say that there has been no reaction to me having dairy last night. I don't know how long it takes for something to get into breastmilk, but Tristan's been really good since last night. A little fussy at the boob in the evening, but I attributed that to having spicy food at dinner. He was down for the night at 8:30, which is pretty good for him, and he slept through until 1:30. Just before 11 I tried to give him what the Baby Whisperer calls the "dream feed", which is when you pick him up and feed him when he's asleep (so that he can sleep a longer chunk without waking up hungry) but apparently doing that counts on the baby having a good suck reflex, which my soother-refusing, non sleep-nursing baby doesn't have. He stirred and stretched for a while, but wouldn't open his mouth to nurse at all. Oh well. Even Roanen slept pretty well last night after the nap disaster and didn't wake up until 5. We're trying to get the boys to bed at 7 now since neither are sleeping well during the day and we figure they need more rest. Nothing to do with the fact that we'd like time sans children in the evening, no sirree.

Had To Be Done

I ate cheese at dinner. Actually, it was Tostitos Salsa Con Queso so I'm not sure if it actually counts as real cheese. Even though I said I was going to deprive myself a while longer to really make sure, something told me I should go for it. It was probably the cheese. I made a (dairy free) chicken chili for dinner and we just happened to have a (dairy free) bag of Tostitos in the cupboard that would go perfectly with it. Problem is that the bag of (dairy free) Tostitos was purchased with a (not so dairy free) jar of cheese dip and I reasoned that if we just ate the chips the dip would be very very lonely. And then I reasoned that I'd already eaten cheese so a mini Caramilk wouldn't hurt. And then I reasoned that I'd already eaten cheese and a mini Caramilk so another mini Caramilk wouldn't hurt. And then I reasoned that I'd already eaten cheese and two mini Caramilks so some PC the Decadent chocolate chip cookies made with (so not dairy free) butter definitely wouldn't hurt.

And now my tummy hurts.

It Has Escaped.

What has escaped, you may ask? My ear. From the death grip of an exhausted nearly-two year old who spent an hour in hysterics because he DIDN'T WANT TO GO NIGHT-NIGHT and who wanted to GO DOWNSTAIRS. The only thing that would calm him down was to have a tractor and truck clutched in one hand and my ear in the other, which wasn't working so well for me since I had to do a variation of downward-facing dog to achieve the perfect ear-grip for him. Napping has been an ordeal lately, with Roanen sleeping a maximum of one hour before waking up and coming downstairs extremely cranky and needy. Naturally Tristan is usually fussy at this time so I end up with the two of them fighting for prime lap space (ok, Tristan does more crying than fighting but whatever) until Roanen wakes up enough to remember that he likes bulldozers better than me. After being good in the middle of the night for a while he's back getting up at least twice (on a good night) or screaming and refusing to stay in his bed (on a bad night). Most mornings there are 4 of us in our queen-sized bed and if we're really lucky Josey will squish in as well when he gets up and amuse himself by alternately kicking at us and pulling out my hairs one by one.

I'm a week and a day into not having any dairy products in case Tristan is sensitive to them and I'm thinking that it's not making much of a difference. I've mostly decided that he's just really sensitive to being uncomfortable in any way. I still think he's got reflux because he's not screaming in pain every night now that he's on medication, but otherwise when he gets upset I can usually attribute it to having gas or being overtired. He seems to have bad circulation too and I'll sometimes get him out of the swing or bed when he starts crying suddenly and his hands, feet and face are freezing cold. Just one more thing to talk to the doctor about when he gets his shots on Thursday (yes, already. Groan.) One thing that is making life easier on me is the swing. He really likes it and falls asleep pretty easily in it so I've gotten really lazy and I rarely try to put him in his crib during the day anymore. We'll see how that works out for me when he outgrows it...

Last bit of news is that Russ got a new job and he starts in 2 weeks. Instead of working from 8 to 5 he'll be working 7 to 3:30 (with 40 minutes of travel time each way) so he'll be getting home about an hour and a half earlier than he is now. In my mind it will be extra time that he can play with the kids while I happily make dinner without one kid in my arms and another (or two) holding onto my leg. In his mind I'll be able to get a job a few evenings a week since I'll have enough time to get somewhere for 5:00. Yes, apparently even though he can't handle the baby on his own for longer than about 15 minutes (because Tristan hates him, you know), if I get a job he'll be able to get all three kids fed, bathed and in bed without committing infanticide. Riiiiiiight. I'll start looking tomorrow.

No Excuses...

I'm running low on excuses not to blog (like the newborn + crazy older brothers excuse isn't good enough on it's own). We finally went ahead and bought a new computer since the old one was beyond ancient and near useless. And I mean delete-as-much-as-possible-off-the-computer-just-so-there's-room-to-upload-a-camera-full-of-pictures useless. On Sunday we popped into WalMart to check prices on laptops (because I NEED a laptop so I don't have to hole up in my room and neglect the kids while I go online) and lo and behold, there was an Acer Aspire 3100 (no it's not a new model, yes it's a gazillion times better than our old computer) on for $345.00. Not knowing whether it was actually going to be good enough on its own we made sure that there were plenty in stock and that the price was going to remain the same for a while and went home to make some calls. After being assured that it would be sufficient for us I went back on Monday to pick it up. I was seriously annoyed to find out that not only was it sold out because they'd only had 5 to start with, it was only on sale for the weekend. Now here's where dealing with major stores comes in handy. Knowing that I, the customer, AM ALWAYS RIGHT when it comes to WalMart, I called around and found the one store in the entire world that still had ONE left. Ok, it was only 5 stores, but luckily enough it was the one in Pembroke where Russ works. A few phone calls, a non-customer service-oriented manager in Renfrew, and a visit to a very the-customer-is-always-right visit to Pembroke and I am now the owner of a fancy-schmancy new laptop, for the sale price of course. I loooooove it, but since I can now sit on the couch or at the kitchen table on the internet, I don't have much of an excuse not to keep up with the blogging. Although I draw the line at typing with one hand while holding the baby. So don't get too excited.

Wow, now after that immensely boring section here are some more random things because I can't get my thoughts organized enough to cover the last couple of weeks in an exciting fashion.
After about a week on the medication, Tristan was still fussing quite a bit in the evening and not going to bed until late. Then his days started to deteriorate to the point where last Thursday I had to call Russ and make him come home at lunch to help me out. He's getting really gassy, but I was totally confused as to whether he was crying from reflux pain, gas pain, unknown pain, being overtired from refusing to sleep on his own or for long periods being held, or just being a baby. Either way it was getting unbearable. Ultimately we decided to continue with the reflux medication, get him to sleep more, even if it means holding him or letting him sleep in the swing or in bed with us, and cut out all dairy products (right down to trace amounts in stuff) in case it's a sensitivity to milk protein. It's been 5 days of this so far and he's much happier, although I have no idea which of our changes is helping. I'm going to continue it all for another week or so before adding dairy back into my diet to see if there's any reaction, and if that's not the issue (please God let him not be sensitive to dairy because I'm going to die without it) we'll go a little longer before trying to take him off the reflux medication. A happier baby lately has made things a little easier, although I'm still hoping the next few months go by quickly because I don't deal well with this infant stage.



"Watching you suffer without dairy makes me happy!"

Josey is going to be starting in an intro to preschool program next week. It's 2 hours a week for six weeks and he's really excited about it. I'm looking forward to it too, although I'm worried that he's going to get upset about it not being at KidsCorp where he's used to having his playgroup. His new thing is saying "Why doesn't anyone want to play with me" when we don't provide him with constant entertainment and although I know he totally just testing us, it makes me feel bad that he doesn't get the chance to play with other kids very often.

That's it for now. Even though I'm in the same room as the kids, I still feel guilty about just sitting here on the computer while they watch TV. Bad Mommy. I promise to update more often from now on though. Maybe.

I Heart Zantac

Can you hear the big sigh of relief from there? Tristan is 7 doses into his prescription and I'm definitely noticing a difference in him. He used to get agitated really easily, especially when he was sitting on his own and now he's pretty content a lot of the time. His fussing doesn't automatically turn into screaming after a few minutes and he settles down to sleep without needing to be nursed. Twice already he has fallen asleep in his crib with me just shushing him and patting his back. Needless to say I'm thrilled, although we are still having issues in the evenings and at nights with him really fussing about nursing and crying quite a bit. I'm thinking that he's reacting to certain foods that I eat, namely broccoli and beans, but he also still has a cold and gets really stuffed up at night which makes him cranky. At least he's not constantly screaming in pain anymore. That does a number on the nerves, particularly after suffering through a year of Roanen's hysterics.

Now for the other exciting updates:

The older boys are actually going out for Halloween this year. Josey is going to be an elephant and Roanen is going to be a pig. Josey is thrilled because I'm "forgetting" that I don't like him to have candy (and I won't remember with him constantly saying it...). We have a tentative deal in which he will keep a few items and trade the rest for a bugs & cheese lunch date with me at Boston Pizza. This is a very good deal for me since not only do I get his candy, I also get lunch out. Oh, and the leftover candy that we don't give out, since I highly doubt we'll actually have enough trick or treaters to use up the 90 chocolate bars I bought... That's when I'll sadly figure out that Tristan is sensitive to chocolate in my milk.

Last week we had our chickens killed and butchered in a gory, yet strangely fascinating and efficient manner. Josey really wanted to watch them, but I was hesitant to let him see any of it since he can be sensitive about things like that. When I told him that I didn't want him to get upset about it, he informed me "I won't get upset - I kill things all the time!" He ended up having no problem with it all, and found the chickens hanging upside down with their heads partially severed and blood dripping from their necks particularly hilarious. No joke. I was slightly less impressed with that. Roanen followed his lead and ran around laughing and yelling "Really scary!" He also decided that it would be a good idea to bend over and try to drink out of a bloody puddle on the ground. Always good when your toddler channels Ozzy Osbourne.

Behaviour is still less than would be desirable, although I haven't been driven to tears by it for over a week now so things are improving. Today at the grocery store we were informed by a woman with three teenaged boys that this is the absolute worst time for us and that it gets really good later on. I was just impressed that three teenaged boys (all of whom looked relatively "cool") actually let themselves be seen in public with their mommy. Even Josey walks several yards behind us in the mall and yells at us for looking at him.

Hard to type with one semi-asleep 6 week old and one wiggly 3 year old on lap. Signing off for now.

Happy Drugs Day One

Last night we gave Tristan his first dose of Happy Drugs. Although he spit most of it up within a few minutes we still imagined that he cried less and settled down easier when it came down to going to sleep. Today was pretty confusing when it came to figuring out if the medicine was actually doing anything. When he was awake and alert, he was pretty easygoing and less agitated than he usually is, but he had 2 major hour-long screaming fits today where he still seemed in pain, but he could also have been overtired. Adding to the confusion is the fact that he has a cold and isn't breathing very well. So we'll give it a while longer before deciding if he actually does have painful reflux, but I'm disappointed that there wasn't a miraculous change in his disposition. And panicking that he cries because of something I'm doing wrong. Shouldn't I have caught on to this mothering thing by now?

Cross Your Fingers For Me...

After our disaster of an appointment last Monday we had a good day, then a really bad day and night with Tristan crying hysterically. We took the doctor's advice and raised the head of his bed and dosed him with Tempra when he got upset, but nothing helped so on Wednesday morning I called the doctor back to ask for a prescription. Naturally he was on holidays until Monday morning so we suffered through the rest of the week with Tristan still screaming, not sleeping on his own, and eating erratically, sometimes crying WHILE nursing. He also started spitting up more and getting some really good distance with it. Finally Monday rolled around and I talked to the receptionist at the doctor's office, trying to sound as desperate as possible. Long story short, the doctor ended up prescribing him Zantac drops since neither Ovol nor gripe water did a thing for him. I'm going to start him on them tonight, although it's really tempting to give it to him now since he's been screaming for the past 45 minutes despite the fact that he napped and fed not too long ago. Wish me luck - hopefully my next post will be all about what a contented, sleepy baby he has become with ther help of the happy drugs.

If He Can't Have Drugs, Can I?

This morning before Tristan's scheduled 1 month checkup I was skimming through my Baby Whisperer book, hoping to figure something out to solve his sleep issues. I happened to find a part that spoke about babies who "never sleep" that referred to another section about reflux. Turns out that Tristan has a pile of reflux symptoms including not wanting to lie flat, frequent hiccups, inability to burp well, unexplained crying, restless sleeping, prolonged feedings and back arching. Oh, and the fact that almost everyone on my side of the family had or has it. I was so happy that I had him (possibly) figured out and I was really hoping that the doctor would just prescribe some kind of medication that could make him feel better so that I could put him down while he sleeps. Unfortunately all he's willing to do right now is have me elevate the crib mattress and keep him upright most of the time, which is the most unsatisfying answer. To add to my misery, Josey wouldn't shut up the entire time we were in the office and yelled "I WANT A TREAT I WANT A TREAT I WANT A TREAT I WANT A TREAT" repeatedly while the doctor was trying to explain everything to me. Fat chance, kid. Roanen grabbed a big pan filled with water and disinfecting solution and pulled it down all over himself, Josey's back, and my leg, which freaked him right out and he screamed for a good 15 minutes while I cursed silently about not having brought any extra clothes other than 1 pair of pants and underwear. And finally, both boys attached themselves to my leg on the way in the office. This is Josey's new game - he holds on to my ankle and makes me drag him across the floor while Roanen just holds on due to shyness. And naturally Tristan was nursing at the time so I just stumbled in, mortified at their behaviour. Josey also grabbed on on the way out and parked himself in the doorway of the office while Roanen screamed hysterically at him for blocking the doorway and not letting him close the door. The doctor told me he wasn't jealous of my situation. And laughed. And I cried aaaaaaaaall the way home. And them some more.

Ha! Fooled Ya!

I was just reading my last post and had to laugh because Tristan is so not laid back and independent anymore. Apparently he was hiding his true nature to lull me into a false sense of security. He will definitely not lie quietly in his cradle until he falls asleep on his own anymore - not even close. In fact, even when he falls asleep in our arms (which is a long, screamy, sometimes impossible achievement) he'll generally wake up as soon as he's put down, or at least within 5 minutes. He has such a hard time getting decent sleep that he's constantly overtired, which severely limits his happy, alert time and makes him into a fussy grouch. The solution? Nursing waaaay to frequently, of course! Nothing like shoving a boob in his mouth to shut him up. He also sleeps in our bed most of the night, usually cradled in my arms. I'm actually not as bothered by all this as I thought, considering that I was totally obsessed with having a baby that fell asleep on his own, slept all night from an early age, and sat contentedly watching the action around him while I cooked and cleaned to my heart's content. I guess after having two extremely high-need babies I realize that he'll only be like this for a year or so then things will get better. I'll probably change my mind about it in a week or so though.

Alright, now for the big boys - in point form!

Roanen:

-will not identify himself in pictures or in the mirror. That guy is Josey.
-he is mostly cooperative when asked to do something, like put something in the garbage. He'll usually say "Otay!", but this also alternates with his other new favourite "Don't want to!"
-he's saying almost everything. For some reason he's been repeating "Josey pooped pants really bad" to make everyone laugh.
-still waking up at night and not wanting Russ to leave the room for hours, but seems to be maturing a little in that he'll occasionally accept excuses like "Daddy doesn't feel good sleeping in your bed"
-very impatient, especially when food is involved and will scream if he doesn't get instant gratification.
-is a little rough with Tristan, but also very affectionate. When he wants to hold him he'll say "Snuggle Baby Bobby?"

Josey:

-has been pretty good for staying dry lately. He has only had a couple of accidents since Tristan was born
-his behaviour seems to get worse when Grammie or Russ are around, but if I'm alone with him and we stick to a routine and keep him busy he's been really good
-the Montessori preschool thing was a bust, but the Early Years Centre in Renfrew has a preschool program that is a couple of hours every week for 6 weeks. Of course it started last week before I found out about it and I don't know when there will be another session of it. As an alternative I thought that I might take on a kid around his age to babysit to keep him busy. This might backfire if I get some crazy kid that teaches him all new ways to be bad.

And a final note, TV is a happy, happy thing as it will keep at least one of my children occupied for a very long time.

Baby Bobby

Now that I've got my mom's computer I can finally post some pictures...none that haven't been seen on Facebook, sorry.









Both the boys still call him "Baby Bobby" most of the time. I thought it would have worn off when everyone else was calling him Tristan, but apparently not. I think it's just easier for them to say...

The latest big discussion in the house is the possibility of sending Josey to preschool, preferably the Montessori. He's just so bored at home, which leads to really bad behaviour. He also loves playing with kids, but never gets to do it because we live so far out in the boonies (and I'm antisocial). I figure that if he even got a couple of days a week away from us to learn some social skills and independence he might be less annoying and demanding the days he is home. Of course this is all just talk right now, especially since the Montessori school costs a zillion dollars to enroll in. If it does happen, it'll probably be in January once things around here settle down a little.

Must Type Quickly...

The boys are behaving and Tristan is sleeping (on his own - yay!) so I'll quickly post about the latest. On Wednesday I went in for an ultrasound to see what was going on in Uterus Land. After the regular ultrasound, the tech informed me that she was going to do something called a "trans-vaginal ultrasound". Are you kidding me?? Are you aware that I had a baby less than a week ago and I have STITCHES? That I am BLEEDING and don't WANT anything even remotely close to that particular area? Anyway, apparently in order to get a good look at the walls of the uterus this has to be done. The worst part was the stretching against the stitches, but overall it wasn't quite as bad as I thought it was, although I did leave the place in a cold sweat. My doctor was waiting in the waiting room and immediately went in for the results, which the tech wouldn't tell me other than "It doesn't look as it should". Wow, thanks. So long story short, there was definitely a piece of placenta still in there and I was booked for a D&C the next morning. We had to arrive at 7 AM, so I was thrilled to wake up at 6:38 and frantically rush around without being able to feed Tristan. Fortunately he slept right through the whole thing in his car seat and even stayed asleep for a while afterwards. Thank God for jaundice - hee hee. The procedure itself went well apparently - I was totally knocked out by the amazing invention that is general anesthesia ("Ok Lindsay, you're going to feel a bit drowsy...not too much" "Oh ok, I feel it a little....whoa, now I'm in recovery. Cool.") They got more than 1/2 a cup of tissue out, which is quite a bit, and I bled a little more than I should have, so I had to stay until 1:30. It was pretty painless, and I would definitely take a D&C over bleeding for 6 weeks anytime. Are we all totally disgusted yet?

The boys have been back with us since Friday, and it was really stressful at first. Josey's behaviour was unbelievably bad for the first few days, and he tends to get Roanen into the act too. The past couple of days have been easier, and I'm feeling more comfortable with having to do it all myself (not that I've had to yet). Tristan is still being pretty laid back, although his eating and sleeping patterns are erratic. He tends to not eat very long, then pass out right away which I'm trying to avoid. When he does follow a routine he sleeps much better and has even fallen asleep on his own in the crib or bassinette a couple of times. He doesn't need to be held when he's awake and alert, which helps a lot when I'm trying to get things done. Hopefully when the jaundice fully clears his system and he has longer awake times things will regulate. He spends about half the night in our bed, but also will sleep in the bassinette if he's in the right mood for it. His favourite place though is in the crib downstairs in the evening, where he'll usually sleep for a good 2 1/2 to 3 hours with us talking and the tv on. So much for "respectfully" keeping him in a quiet room when he's sleeping.

So that's the exciting news. Tristan is up now and the boys are going to start going nuts if I don't give them breakfast, so I'm off to be a good mommy.

Doesn't Everyone Love a Good Birth Story?

All right, here's the story:

On Wednesday the 12th I was feeling pretty crappy, although not really labour-ish; I was getting the usual amount of annoying contractions, but they tapered off in the afternoon. At about 8:30 that night I started getting them again, not much stronger, but a little more regular so I decided to time them. They were between 9 and 11 minutes apart for 30 minutes or so, then 7 minutes apart but still not any stronger. Remembering how quickly I progressed with Roanen (less than 3 hours from the first minor contraction to him being out) I called my mom to have her come over just in case. I went to lie down when she got here and dozed for about an hour. I only got 3 contractions in that hour but one of them felt real enough to get me pretty anxious. When Russ came to bed at about 11:30 the contractions came back, still not very strong but closer together at 5 minutes. We ended up calling the hospital at around 12:30 to let them know we were coming in and we arrived around 1:00 AM. In the car the contractions were about 2 minutes apart, but I was still feeling good and talking through some. Once we got to the hospital I immediately felt better anxiety-wise, mostly because I hated just lying around at home trying to decide if I really was in labour or not.
The nurse checked me and determined that I was 5-6 cm dilated and having contractions 1.5 minutes apart. I still felt really good and walked the halls for 15 minutes before my doctor showed up (or rather came blasting through the doorway at full speed because he didn't make it in time for Roanen's birth and knew he'd never hear the end of it if he missed this one), checked me, pronounced me 5 cm ( I liked the nurse's assessment better) and broke my water with a little difficulty since the baby's head was incredibly low. We just hung out for half an hour or so and the contactions got stronger but still bearable. I was checked again - 8 cm - and then the contractions got quite a bit stronger so I stopped talking and definitely stopped smiling. 5 or 6 contractions later I had to push and the head came out 1st push, body came out 2nd push at 2:37 AM. I opened my eyes to check it out and immediately spotted some very familiar parts. A BOY? How did that happen? Russ then confirmed that he was QUITE a boy (very important evidently) and we got to examine him and send him over to the nurse for weighing, etc. 6 lbs, 10 oz, 20 1/2 inches long, and apparently a little premature, despite my beliefs otherwise. We didn't have a name for a boy right away, but (I) eventually decided on Tristan Craig, a name that Russ and both my parents had agreed was british and faggy. Too bad.
Anyway, we came home on Friday night after almost no sleep, a bed that constantly adjusted itself, and 2 days of nauseating hospital food. Tristan is not a good nurser, is very sleepy, and mostly refuses to sleep by himself which should be a lot of fun once I'm home alone with all the boys. We're looking forward to the next year :) Sorry, no photos at the moment because my computer sucks and doesn't have enough space left to upload them. He's cute though ;) Looks just like a skinny version of newborn Roanen, but with Russ' nose.

*STOP READING NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT REALLY GORY DETAILS*

Things have been pretty crazy since getting home. On Sunday morning we brought Tristan in to the hospital to get his weight checked and he had only lost 50 grams, which was ok, especially since I couldn't seem to get him to nurse more than 2 minutes at a time before he passed back out. He didn't seem too jaundiced to the doctor, so we were just told to bring him in to the office for another check on Tuesday. We then proceeded to go grocery shoppping, where I began to feel really sore in my hips and sacrum and crampy again. By the time we got home I felt just about as bad as when I was pregnant and decided that I had pushed myself a little too much (although I didn't really think I went too crazy with the activity). *GROSS PART BEGINS HERE* I then noticed that I had passed what looked like a small piece of the placenta. The doctor had mentioned that there was a spot that didn't look like it had separated very cleanly, so I assumed it was that and didn't really worry. However, I did notice that the cramping that I got when I nursed that had gone away after the first day returned, but no big deal. On Tuesday morning, after a rough night with Roanen (Tristan has been much easier to deal with at night since he's been sleeping in bed with us - go figure) I woke up with horrible cramping that felt just about as bad as end-of-labour contractions, but in the smaller area that my uterus is now in, and a constant pain rather than coming in waves. I called for Russ to get me some Tylenol, then ended up asking him to call obstetrics at the hospital to see what I should do. They told us to immediately go into emergency since I could start hemmorhaging - fun! Russ had to get all the kids ready and into the car since I was pretty much just doubled over in pain, then we got going. The tylenol had kicked in by this point so I was feeling better, but still concerned. We spend 2 1/4 hours at the hospital getting blood taken and having - get this - an INTERNAL pelvic exam (totally the best thing to have 5 days after giving birth and getting stitches) to be informed that I'll need an ultrasound and that I have tissue blocking my cervix that won't let my uterus tighten and close. Ultrasound is this afternoon and the doctor informed me that I may have to get a D&C tomorrow if it hasn't cleared up. So fun. Anyway, we had to go from the hospital to the doctor's office for Tristan's check, and he had only gained a little bit of weight and was looking more jaundiced so we had to go BACK to the hospital for blood tests for him. Meanwhile the kids were exhausted and Josey was completely freaking out about everything. Russ was totally stressed and for once looking forward to going back to work. We had a pretty low-key afternoon and were relieved to hear that although Tristan's bilirubin levels were high, they were below the point at which he would have to be readmitted to the hospital to bask (or scream) under the UV lights. We still have to get him another blood test today, but he's not as sleepy and is nursing for longer periods so I'm assuming that things are getting better. He even spent from 5:30 to 7:30 in his own bed this morning, and had a half-hour nap in there as well. Hopefully things will get on track soon and I'll feel a little less stressed.
I'll try to update soon, but no promises.

A Week Later...And NOTHING!

Here I am, a week after my last blog, and still sitting here knocked up. I am getting quite a few contractions today though, but nothing even worth timing or calling Russ about. After I didn't go into labour over the weekend like I thought I would I got pretty resigned to the fact that it hasn't happened yet. It helped that the boys were in Ottawa for a couple of days so I wasn't too sore and desperate for it to come out. Although I'm not going to complain if it happens now, apparently the maternity ward at the hospital is full so I don't mind waiting until it quiets down. When Josey was born I was stuck in a room at the other side of the hospital while he was under the UV lights so it was kind of a pain to have him so far away. Also, we lost a couple of the clips for the infant seat so it would be best to find those before needing to bring a baby home... That's why the baby's not coming. It knows we're not ready. Right?

Ok, Anytime Now...

I just went to the chiropractor for an adjustment, so everything is properly aligned and the baby can come out now. Just as a teaser I've actually gotten quite a few contractions in the last little while, but I'm not holding my breath. I'm achy and sore again, plus I've been sick to my stomach since last night so I'm totally done with pregnancy again. Bring on sweet epidural-free labour.

A couple of nights ago I was in our bedroom upstairs while Russ read the boys their bedtime stories. Roanen has gotten quite annoying lately while he's listening to Josey's stories, constantly asking "What's that?" and commenting on the pictures. Russ told him to stop talking a few times, then while he continued reading I heard a little voice say "One...two...three...four...five...six". I wasn't sure who it was since Roanen's voice is exactly like Josey's when he's clear, and when I asked Russ if Josey had just counted out loud he said no. Roanen then repeated the numbers, adding "Nine...Ten!" at the end. He's definitely a genius. Or just really good at mimicking Josey, who counts out loud all the time. Who needs seven and eight anyway?

I don't know if I posted this earlier (and am too lazy to look back through the blog to find out), but as an attempted solution to Josey peeing himself we've been giving him a quarter every morning to put in his bank. If he stays dry he's allowed to keep the quarter, but if he pees himself he has to give the quarter back, plus one more as a penalty. It's been working pretty well and he's earned enough to buy a couple of Hot Wheels Cars, some Smarties, and last week he used his money to buy Annabelle some cat treats. Oh, and he also gets a loonie every day that he doesn't get a time-out, which we thought we'd never had to pay out, but he succeeded 3 times last week. Eventually when he's staying dry all the time we'll give him some chores and he can earn the money that way. The novelty may be wearing off though. Yesterday morning we were getting ready to go to the cottage and Josey was watching a show on the evil tv while I got stuff together. I was in the playroom when I heard him go into the kitchen and say "I'm peeing on my hand and on the floor!" I walked in to see him hanging out of his pants and standing in a huge puddle of pee. I was seriously annoyed because when he watches tv he doesn't want to miss anything and often ends up peeing himself, so we'll have to cut our kids show watching down from less than an hour a week to NONE if he can't tear himself away long enough to go to the bathroom. After that he peed himself twice more yesterday so needless to say he didn't get his quarter. Or post-bath playtime with Daddy. Like he cares about any of that.

No, Not Yet

So apparently when you start telling people "Anytime now" a month before your "official" due date, people expect you to have the baby by the next time they see you. I don't think I was being premature with the statement considering the due date I was given was at least a week too late and I've gone early in both previous pregnancies, so don't roll your eyes at me ;) I was pretty sure that I was going to go into labour on Sunday night because I realized on Sunday morning that I felt really good, with not much hip and sacrum pain and without the feeling that I was carrying a bowling ball around in my pelvis. This was the way I felt the day before having Roanen that I assumed meant that the baby's head was engaged. Surprisingly enough Sunday night brought NOTHING and here I still am on Tuesday morning, still not feeling horrible, but still hugely pregnant. I've been faithfully taking my evening primrose oil and twice-daily doses of raspberry leaf tea, but I didn't REALLY expect that to instantly throw me into fits of contractions... It did last time, but really, I'm not complaining...

On a fun note, I got my maternity pictures yesterday and I LOVE them! There are a bunch of Josey and my belly that he is so gorgeous in. Seriously, I have the most beautiful child in the world. Check this out:



And this one:



And she took an unposed picture when my mom was reading to the boys:



I'll post some others of the belly when I have more time. I'm going to have a really hard time decided which ones to enlarge and frame. Ok, so I'm off to a doctor's appointment. My last one. Really.

This Post is Brought To You By The Numbers 1 and 2

I'm very proud of myself for posting within a week of my last post. Where did I find the time, you ask? After spending the entire day with the kids (and cleaning the house since we have a playdate tomorrow with someone who has never seen the house), making them dinner, getting annoyed at them for not eating dinner, giving them their baths, getting them dressed, doing all the dishes, making snacks, brushing teeth, reading stories, and spending well over an hour dealing with Roanen, who got ridiculously hysterical after I didn't hold his hand properly, I plunked myself down in front of the computer just to share all my uninteresting news with you. And where's Russ? He didn't even come home tonight, but went straight to the Shawville fair tractor pull where he's doing all his favourite tractor-y things. He'll be home sometime after midnight. Must be nice. So enough bitching, here's the dirt.

The kids stayed in Ottawa after we visited friends on Sunday and didn't come home until Tuesday night (and they were asleep when they got here so it didn't start counting until Wednesday morning. Being a nasty pregnant bad mommy I didn't miss them much, particularly when Josey spent a five minute phone conversation with me on Monday morning repeating "I don't love you!" over and over again. I got lots of sleep on the first day, sleeping in until 10 and having a nap in the afternoon. I got not much tidying or cleaning done and I don't care. The second day I couldn't even keep myself in bed until 6:30 and spent another looong day doing nothing.
Tuesday afternoon I had my 36 (37? 37.5?) week appointment where I was told that the baby is really low (but not engaged yet) and it doesn't look like I'll "hold onto it much longer". Oh darn. My appointment was at 4, and since I figured that by that point in the day the doctor would be way behind schedule, I warned Russ that I might not be home when he got there at 5:40. I set out all the ingredients to make dinner on the counter, hoping that I'd be right and maybe, just maybe, Russ would come in, see that I wasn't there and make dinner. Ha! As luck would have it, I got out of the office at 5:15, with just enough time to drive home and start dinner. So what did I do? I sat in the car in the parking lot and knit until 5:40, evil woman that I am. When I got home Russ was in the kitchen making dinner. Hadn't checked on the chickens, hadn't had a shower, just saw that I wasn't there and started chopping away, even following a recipe which is apparently one of his most hated things to do. Sweet man. Now don't tell him how I tricked him into doing it. That night he even made me a homemade iced cappuccino, which whacked me out on caffeine at 10:30 that night and kept me from sleeping.
Anyway, now I'm using the "baby could come anytime" line and today I started taking my evening primrose oil capsules which are supposed to soften your cervix. Not that my cervix needs any help in that department since judging from my last labour it dilates and effaces a lot without me even being aware of it. The nursery is totally set up and I even have my hospital bag packed. So send some labour vibes my way.

*Knock On Wood Again*
Roanen has slept through the last 4 out of 6 nights, and the 2 nights he woke up he went back to sleep really easily. I thought that maybe he'd forgetten that he likes screaming, but he did enough of it today and tonight that I changed my mind.

Josey's behaviour has been pretty good since he got back from Grammie and Grampa's. I started teaching him how to write numbers yesterday and he really surprised me with how fast he picked it up. Granted we only practiced 1 and 2, but he did a really good job. He can now count objects and write the number beside them. Genius. Today we tried out the number 3 and he couldn't write it properly, frustrating both of us and causing a boycott of number writing for the rest of the day. We'll try again tomorrow.

Next post to come after the baby is born. Yeah, right.

Yet Another Boring Post

See? I can't even come up with a decent title.
Yes, I know I've been a blog slacker. Between guilt about blogging when the kids are awake, utter exhaustion when they're not, things that NEED to be done (but still don't get done thanks to the aforementioned exhaustion) and the fact that my....computer.....is.....slower.....than......this, I haven't even been turning on the computer, let alone posting blogs, reading blogs or entering blogging contests. The only thing motivating me to do this now is the fact that the computer and dial-up seems to be fastest on Sunday mornings (and I have a basket of to-be-folded laundry next to me to take care of while each website sloooowly appears). Oh, and I was worried that I've posted so little that my next post was going to be about the birth of the baby and that would have been weird. So here's the latest:

I'm up to prenatal appointments every week now since they say I'm at 35 1/2 weeks (at least 36 1/2 according to me) now. Last Tuesday I had gained 4 lbs in 2 weeks (apparently there is no rhyme or reason to my weight gain) and the baby's head is now really low, but not yet engaged. The doctor said all that means is that he could pretty much guarantee that I wasn't going to have the baby before Thursday. I have been *absolutely miserable* in the past 2 weeks due to the combination of not being able to move quickly or bend, painful contractions, something that feels like bad gas pain in my extreme low abdomen (which has actually thankfully subsided since I made an effort to eat regularly), pressure in my tailbone area, severe hip and sacrum pain, and what I believe to be cervical dilation that feels like someone is sticking big needles in unmentionable places. I've also started (ok, continued) really disliking feeling the baby move since it has no room left and stretches out causing more contractions and pain. I seriously can't understand people who enjoy pregnancy, but unfortunately if I want 4 kids I'm going to have to go through it one more time. Not anytime soon though.
I'm guessing (I don't remember if I've posted this before and am too lazy to check) that I'll have the baby by the 9th. I have a baby pool going and there are some extremely pessimistic people out there who are not trusting my motherly instincts. But they'd better not be right.
We finally put the crib together last night because I started panicking about not having anything done. The clothes are sorted and I have a couple of packs of newborn diapers (not that I bought them), but otherwise the room is a disaster and in that sense I'm not even remotely ready to have this baby. I'm sort of hoping that I'll have it soon and the magical fairies will show up while I'm at the hospital and clean my house and get everything ready (reading my mind about what I actually want done since I'm anal about how it SHOULD be done...). Fortunately when I was feeling really good and Martha Stewart-y a couple of weeks ago I managed to cook and freeze 20 main meals and about 15 side dishes to help me out with dinners post-baby. I'd still like to make more, but just don't have the energy or motivation for it. I'll wait for that magical day before the baby's born when I feel really great and pain-free and nest my way into household organization.

*Knock On Wood* Roanen slept right through the night last night and only woke up once the night before. Lately, though, he's been waking up at least twice and getting hysterical again for no reason. He's also been hard to put down, getting himself tangled in the sheet on purpose and screaming "BANK-ET" repeatedly until we straighten it, then repeating this several times. Oh, and now he likes me to hold his hand while he falls asleep, but it has to be JUST RIGHT, and JUST RIGHT is never how I do it and he freaks. When he gets psychotic we've taken to taking him right out of bed and bringing him into the baby's room to sit on the couch until he calms down and says he wants to go back to bed. After doing this about 3 or 4 times in a row when he won't calm down he usually settles, but that doesn't necessarily mean he won't wake up again during the night. He's still playing really well on his own during the day, but has zero patience for anything going remotely wrong and gets frustrated easily when things don't go exactly as he wants them to.

Josey had a period of two days where he was an angel child. He was helpful, obedient, and relatively calm. It was heaven. Then the devil re-emerged and he's been extra bad for about a week and a half now. I don't know if he's upset that I can't do much and sit around a lot, or just taking advantage of the fact that I can't move quickly, but it's driving us crazy. His normal time-outs are 3 minutes long and I don't thing he's had one shorter than 7 minutes in all this time because they get extended when he refuses to sit down for them and runs around, making me chase him (no, don't picture it - not a pretty sight). He also likes to copy anything bad that Roanen does because bad attention is better than no attention, right? I'm wondering how he's going to react when the baby's born, and thinking that it could really go either way. At any rate, when I can move more I'll (hopefully) be able to deal better.

So that's it for now. I'm off to make junky treats with Josey to make up for ignoring him while I blog.

The Most Boring 100th Post Ever

I've been putting off writing my 100th post because I really feel like it should be something extraordinarily special. Perhaps an extremely amusing story? Or, even more fitting, my 100 Things About Me post (which I wasn't actually tagged to do, but sometimes I need to talk about me too). Unfortunately I have no really funny stories, and zero time to think about 100 things, let alone type them all out. So it's a regular old this-is-what-has-been-happening-lately post that will bore my readers. All 4 of you.

2 Tuesdays ago (yes I'm way behind) I had a prenatal appointment. They're getting closer together so it had only been 3 weeks since my previous appointment. At the same time, Roanen was due for his 18 month shots so we all went in together, with Josey panicking the whole time because he has needle issues, whether it's him getting them or not.
Roanen immediately freaked out because I LEFT HIM IN THE EXAM ROOM (about 3 feet away) while I was getting weighed. He ran out and stuck himself onto my leg, interfering with the weighing process, so I ended up having to weigh both of us at the same time, then I put him on a chair in the exam room, surrounded by an obstacle course of toys and chairs then ran back to the scale. All that to find out that A) despite forcing myself to eat all meals, some snacks, and fill up on meal replacement drinks I had only gained half a pound in three weeks and even better B) Roanen has actually lost a pound in the last 3 months. This is the kid that eats more than I do some days. I wasn't as concerned about my weight, since the doctor didn't seem to have a problem with it and I lost a pound around this stage in my pregnancy with Josey as well. As for Roanen, I was a bit worried because he does eat a lot and a pound is a lot when you only weigh 24 pounds to start. Granted, he is really active and he is growing height-wise (evidently 4 inches since Christmas), but it kicked the Italian mother genes in me into high gear and I've been watching everything that he eats to make sure he's getting enough calories. Of course Russ, who was always super-proud of how big Roanen was since he gave up on Josey (who is apparently going to be a midget despite only being in the 40th percentile for everything) was really bummed out. There is no hope for our tiny children. Note that we are average-sized people from families of about 25% average-sized people and 75% short people (including an aunt on Russ' side who is actually short enough to be classified as a little person). But no, our children should have been the giants and they're not so we'll just have to hope this next baby isn't also a dwarf.

Story requested by Grammie:
I have been asking Josey if he's interested in seeing me give birth to this baby, provided the labour isn't too long and not in the middle of the night. He has seen births on TV and gets really excited about seeing the baby come out, so he has said that he would probably like it. The last time I asked, he got very pensive and asked me where the baby was going to come out. Being one to give honest answers to my child (at least some of the time and in certain situations), I told him that babies come out of mommies vaginas. He nodded understandingly, but then asked "But how are they going to put that vagina back together?" Without getting into details about TEARING and BLEEDING and NEEDLES and STITCHES and SCAR TISSUE, I took out my hair elastic and showed him how it's a certain size, but stretches WAY bigger to fit over this coffee mug then goes back to its original size (ha). Don't know if it really sunk in, but he did want to play with my hair elastic after that. And he now thinks our new baby is going to be a coffee mug.

Sweet, Sweet Boy Part 2

Josey is going to be a fabulous big brother to the new baby. He's very excited about it coming, but is getting tired of waiting SO LONG for it. So as a temporary substitution, he has pulled out his baby: a soft-bodied, plastic-headed unattractive doll that makes weird noises when you squeeze its belly or hand that Grammie got for him when Roanen was born. The other day between bath and snack he was taking care of his baby. He put on the baby's shirt. He decided that the baby's pants needed to be washed, so he put them in the laundry. He carried the baby around. He nursed the baby. He read the baby some stories. He shared his snack with the baby. He tucked the baby into bed. He was very gentle and sweet. The next morning I was in the kitchen when I heard him walk down a few stairs, then his little voice said "I drop it?" and I turned to see this:



Yes, Sweetie, sometimes I want to do that to you guys too.

Sweet, Sweet Boy

"Mmmm Mommy, this breakfast is really good! Make it again....or I'll THROW YOU OUT!"

Wordless Wednesday - 1 Garden + 1 Hose + 1 Shovel + 1 Big Brother = 1 Messy Baby

He's A Boob Man All Right

Josey and Roanen love playing with balloons. We recently bought a big bag of mixed balloon shapes, and Josey picked a heart-shaped one for us to blow up for him. The next morning he came up to me and said "Look Mommy, when you hold it like this it looks like a pair of boobies!" Note that we don't actually use the word "boobies" in this house, nor am I sure that he really knows what a "pair" is. Put it together pretty quickly though. I do have to say that because of the shape there were dark spots on the "boobies" that looked just like nipples, so once again he's just being very perceptive.



Now this morning we told Josey that Great-Grampa was going to be coming up for a visit. I asked him if he would like to make a card for him since his birthday is this week, and he excitedly asked for paper, markers, scissors and glue. He meticulously cut, pasted, and drew for a while before announcing that his card was done. Although he doesn't know how to write any letters yet (except for "J" for obvious reasons) he had written a lovely birthday card for dear old Great-Grampa. I first excitedly pointed out that the third letter was a "T". Then I saw the "S". "Wow Josey, you know how to make an "S" like a snake!". Then I saw the "I". I was very impressed that so far all his "letters" were actual letters. Then I saw the first letter. Then I put it all together:



After laughing hysterically for a while, I managed to convince him to make an alternate birthday card, then gave that one a place of honour on the refrigerator. It will be saved forever, to be brought out on such occasions as bringing his first girlfriend home, his wedding, and his graduation from plastic surgeon's school (specializing in breast augmentations, of course).
And, why yes, he was in fact breastfed.

Great Start!

Tonight was the night that things were going to go very smoothly when it came to putting the boys to bed. Josey didn't have a nap today, and was very tired because he did a lot of swimming and running around. Roanen napped well, but didn't sleep too late so he was tired too. Everything was going to go perfectly. They had their baths late. They were good during storytime. Josey got into his bed, Roanen got into his bed, and they both settled down instantly. For the first time ever they were both going to sleep without making even a tiny little fuss for me.

And then the biggest freaking spider I have seen in a long time crawled up the side of Roanen's headboard and across the top. And not one of those teeny-bodied spiders with big legs, this sucker was huge all over and hairy and awful.

I immediately turned on the light, dragged Roanen by the feet off the bed and into Josey's bed (which he whined at me for), then called out the window to Russ because there was no way in hell I was going to attempt to catch this thing by myself without traumatizing the boys by shrieking and flailing wildly trying to get its imaginary babies out of my hair. Surprisingly enough Russ didn't complain, but came right up and caught it (after he made one attempt and the thing FLEW off the headboard at me and started trying to get into the sheets - first it reared up and waved its front legs at him. No I am not exaggerating, this thing was creepy). Turns out it was a wolf spider and they bite so it was right of me to freak. Of course the boys were way riled up after that, but after a couple of minutes they settled again and started to doze off, while I freaked out every time I saw movement out of the corner of my eye or felt the bottom of my pants brush my leg.

And then Russ decided to take that opportunity to call up through the window that I should close it because he was going to be cleaning out the chicken feeders with the hose and making some noise. Thanks very much for making the boys decided that they'd rather have "Daaaaddy! Daaaaaaaaaddy!" put them to bed instead.

Long story short, they ended up asleep at 9:15, so just about the usual time, with way more stress than I wanted to endure. It will work better tomorrow, I know it.

Oh Yeah, That's What This Blog Is For...

I guess I haven't really been posting about what the boys are doing stage-wise, so here's one of those boring just-in-case-anyone-actually-cares blogs ;)

Josey is a big ball of nasty attitude (most of the time). He screams at me. He tells me he doesn't love me. He tells me that I don't love him. He says "You don't let me DO anything!". Of course he then makes up for it all when he climbs into bed with me in the morning and tells me he wants to snuggle, then actually snuggles me instead of kicking and pinching.

I've decided (as of yesterday) that we're going to eliminate his daily nap. As much as I hate to do it because it's so nice when the boys nap for a couple of hours at the same time, he's been fooling around and distracting Roanen at nap time and it's been taking at least half an hour to get Roanen to sleep. When Josey finally falls asleep, he only naps for an hour or so, then gets up. Come bedtime, he's not even remotely tired and distracts Roanen some more, then comes downstairs a billion times to complain that he's not tired and he's bored of his books and he wants to watch tv and he needs a drink of water and he's STILL not tired. The past two nights we've actually fallen asleep before him. Hopefully he'll have some quiet time in the afternoon, then be too exhausted to act up at bedtime. I'm not holding my breath though because he is Josey after all and can always find the energy to be bad.

He has really been repeating things he hears lately, but fortunately he's somehow filtering out the bad words Daddy says when the carton of eggs falls out the grocery box and smashes in the trunk. Yesterday he said "Roanen broke this book. He's a very foolish boy". This morning, after getting M&Ms from Grammie for being good at swimming, he said "Grammie was very nice for giving me chocolate. We'll keep her." This also comes hand in hand with trying to discipline Roanen himself when he feels it's necessary, and I usually have to console Roanen because Josey has just screamed at him for touching one of his toys.

The pee situation is improving (knock on wood) and most days he stays dry and pees without me nagging him. He has yet to go more than a week without an accident, but it's still way better than it was.

Now for Roanen:
Roanen will repeat just about any word you say to him. He's regularly putting 3 words together and is counting to himself, saying "three, four" and "eight, nine, ten". He won't do it if he's asked though.

He's definitely picking up the peeing in the toilet thing, but I'm being way too lazy about it so he usually only sits on the potty before and after his bath when Daddy puts him on. He has yet to pee before his bath, but he'll hold it in and say "potty" afterwards, peeing about half the time. He's pretty impressed with our reaction when he actually goes, particularly the giving of the jellybean (although he sometimes wants to see if it floats instead of eating it).

He's still really independent, especially outside, and only wants to sit with me if Josey gets him upset or he hurts himself. Sandals are optional and he usually has them off within about 5 minutes of going out. This doesn't stop him from walking around on the sharp rocks on the driveway and in the garage.

Sleeping is hit and miss, mostly miss. For some reason even if he goes down easily, he'll still usually wake up a couple times a night and have a hard time going back to sleep. Not sure if it's a coincidence or not, but the last two times he has slept right through were when we darkened the room by taking out the brighter nightlights. Last night was one of those nights, so we'll keep it dark and see how it goes. Again, I'm not holding my breath, but I'm comforted in the thought that Russ has agreed to take over night duty with the boys once the baby comes. Until the baby sleeps through of course, which is only going to take a few weeks because this child will be a GREAT sleeper. Ha!

As for the pregnancy, I'm now at 31 weeks and the countdown is on. I'm thinking I'll deliver sometime between weeks 36 and 38. I'll venture a guess that it's a girl weighing between 6 lbs 3 oz and 6 lbs 6 oz. Short labour, but not as short as last time - maybe 5 hours long. I really should start a pool - I think it would have some interesting results (Like Lara's - boy, 8 lbs something, delivered at 42 weeks, right? Stop raining on my parade ;) ) The baby is doing more stretching and less kicking, unlike the boys. This means that I can occasionally feel its foot waaay up in my ribs at the same time as it's poking out to the side and pushing its head down. I'm getting excited about losing the belly, but a little worried that I may get stretchmarks this time (an unfounded worry since I'm not any bigger than the last times). I'm definitely more confident about sleep and happiness issues since reading "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" about 30 times over and marking pages. Although I didn't think I'd be eager to get the baby out, it's happening again because I really do hate being pregnant. I do know that it's way easier in than out though :)

My 3-1/2 Year Old

Mr Joser-Boo,

One morning you woke up and instead of my big-bellied toddler you were a preschooler. You're a bundle of energy, complete with crazy hair and bad attitude.



You need constant attention, unless you're glued to the tv (which I always deny you, proving that I "don't love you") and you drive me up the wall with "why"s, "how"s, and "pleeeeeaase"s. You will be screaming at me and hitting one second, then the next you turn around and earnestly say "Mommy? I love you." with a hug and the sweetest face possible.



You are the most generous child I've ever encountered, always ready to share even your favourite snacks and treats with your brother, putting pieces gently and directly into his mouth. To my delight, you're becoming anal about putting your shoes and hat in the proper places when you take them off, and lining your cars up "just so".



You're a budding artist who makes the most detailed pictures with hilarious stories behind them.


(see * for picture explanation)

You're very excited about your new sibling coming, insisting out of nowhere that it will be named Bobby if it's a boy and Sarah if it's a girl. You will probably be dismayed to learn that we have other ideas about that.

You have no fear of things most people find creepy. You will pick up any bug, snake, or weird creature you find.



You rarely cry when you're actually hurt, even if you want to, but you scream far too often out of frustration and anger.

You've been sweet, silly, and loveable from day one, and nobody can resist you because of it.

Happy Half Birthday!

Love and kisses,
Mommy XOXO




*The drawing is of Mommy (on the right) with a baby in her belly button (drawn before he knew I was pregnant). The lines between her eyes are "tears streaming down her face" because apparently I don't have any hair. Josey is on the left, also with a baby in his belly button, this one armless.

My 18-Month Old

Dear Roanen

Today you are 18 months old. People keep saying it goes by so fast, but let me tell you I felt every excrutiating scream-filled moment of your first year as each passed in slow motion.



The last six months, however, are a blur. Since the day before your first birthday, when I found out you were going to be a big brother, time seems to be speeding up as I try to hold on to your babyness while you're still my littlest baby. You have different ideas about it all though, and you do more and more big boy things every day. You're already putting 3 words together, going down huge slides without any help, climbing things that four year olds have trouble with, and trying to do everything your brother does.

You can be so independent, amusing yourself for hours at a time, and then you turn into the neediest kid ever, clinging to Daddy's neck like you won't ever let go, or refusing to sleep anywhere but between us in our bed.



You need to eat very regularly and get your 2 hour minimum nap every single day or you turn back into a 3-month old, crying inconsolably for hours.



You are afraid of "noisy" cows, the lawn tractor, and new situations, and you are leery of hyper dogs. You love getting a ride from Daddy on the tractor, going down slides and eating handfuls of sand.

You're one of the two cutest boys I've ever seen and you've turned out remarkably happy despite your initial temperament...and you're all mine!



Happy half birthday Roanen!
Love Forever, Mommy XOXO